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People who finished their gift buying in November. May a plague be upon them.
Cop: There's dynamite hanging from the ceiling!
Me: Actually that's dynaTITE. You see dynaMITE grows up from the ground whereas—
[shania twain voice] ok so you've got AIDS? that dont impress-a me much
The cat just did an exaggerated yawn that ended with his arm around my shoulders. We both been single too long.
An abnormal amount of people on my Facebook page just "liked" Lysol. I don't even have a joke to go with this. It's just a sad fact.
help ive fallen and i cant get updog
computer, load up Celery Man please
what if when the christmas boy was born the eraserhead baby came out ahaha the little eraserhead baby in the manger with the hay
"To all my haters that say I'm a bad babysitter I just wanna say I proved ya'll wrong"