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Why do I hate @richarddawkins so much? 'Cause he treats Me like I don't even exist.
@thetweetofgod 698.4K followers
@richarddawkins 714.8K followers
Help Me, tweeps. Spread My word so I can catch this bastard.
Is there an anti-depressant that's just Viola Davis' voice saying, "You is smart, you is kind, you is important" over & over again?
@chriscolfer Look at your SBL book being sold in france :) pic.twitter.com/bFIqHCMpxa
Ray Charles and a young Stevie Wonder in Detroit, 1962 pic.twitter.com/k9uwcMscB3
More like XBox One out of 10 *runs down line of Twitter followers high-fiving everyone*
“im so fat!” i scream as i shove a brownie, pizza, my neighbors cat, two oak trees, a small country into my mouth
Paris Hilton's upcoming album is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It IS the Apocalypse.
People on Twitter are writers the same way people on Instagram are photographers.
A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers.
@niallofficial Would you sleep with a stranger? If not, I'll introduce myself.
