When im jealous.. pic.twitter.com/3QMwQJMyiL

I bet Harrison Ford (#actor) was like "Aaahh!" when he first met Chewbacca until George Lukas told him it was a fellow thespian.

My profile on Christian Mingle says I enjoy long walks on the beach with only one set of footprints.

This happens to me all the time pic.twitter.com/fn7ADsq25i

That booty had me like.... pic.twitter.com/RTy1C4kXBL

Your Costco ID photo shows you what you'd look like if you were a meth addict.

I
can't
lose
you
Because
if
I
ever
did
I'd
have
lost
my best friend
my soul mate
my smile
my laugh
my everything.
- The Vow

*puled over by police dog*
"woofwof, ..wofwof"
sory oficer i dont understamd
"wofwoof!"
sir i--
"WOOFWOFWOOF"
woof?
*i get a barkimg ticket*

@normanikordei hi i made you something, hope you like it :) pic.twitter.com/hRuJdfqFe9

bought a box of 100 crickets from the pet store and released them back into the ocean were they belong

My favorite thing to get at Pinkberry is emotional.

everyone on my timeline is writing sweet little goodnight messages so I'll join in...

goodnight ya lil shits xo

Algo así. pic.twitter.com/1RYqE4IHN8

buy me cute underwear and i will let you see me wearing it

If you haven't see James Gandolfini in @aiannucci's "In the Loop," please do. It's a candidate for funniest film of all time.