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I've managed a song and a half of Eurovision. I just can't do it. Sorry guys. Go on without me. Good luck.
David Beckham in tears after playing his last ever football game. :( pic.twitter.com/waTDwSv7sK
It’s all fun and games until you remember the person you were from 2007-2010
if i had a dollar for every time i was called ugly id be broke cuz im perfect lol later losers
The Name of the Doctor is 'Bob' and he's a plumber from East London #DoctorWho
Women's faces in Beverly Hills look as if they're at a neverending surprise party.
to anyone whos wondering what eurovision is pic.twitter.com/5r1hXcyHWL
"look babe, i need to tell you something, i..."
*a pigeon with killer abs walks past & i forget what i was saying*
Lotsa guys keep baseball bats in their trunk to show they mean business. But carryin' a sledgehammer in your trunk says you close deals.
Okay so my shower just exploded and flooded my bathroom oops
time for a swim 🌊
"How about something as annoying as a parade but causes more traffic?" - Inventor if the street fair.