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There's no such thing as too much Star Wars
"On fleek"? No, young people. No.
When J.Cole was talking about Dale Jr. then said I don’t know them niggas 😂😂😂😭
"Why is this floor of the building so much taller than the rest?"
"It's a long story"
Beauty tip: learn how to make a decent sandwich and maybe shut up once in a while.
Now that SkyMall is gone, if I’m flying and I want a $300 piece of garbage I have to buy an airport sandwich.
"I'm here to pick my son up from daycare [aims down crossbow sight] who are these other mini humans touching him?"
mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]
“Next time some jackass of a politician tells you that the Charlie Hebdo attacks were ‘nothing to do with Islam’.” http://www.spectator.co.uk/columnists/rod-liddle/9420582/its-all-kicking-off-in-the-islamic-world-nothing-at-all-to-do-with-islam-of-course/ …
Why did the police arrest the tennis player? Because he was raising a racket. I apologize to the police department and tennis as a sport.