Good Morning. Niagra Falls, more like Viagra Falls, am I correct?

Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get even worse.

#XboxRevealPredictions 1) It's not just called Xbox. 2) Fewer games than PS4 event. 3) We see a box & price. 4) We lol at Kinect. 5) Dubstep

People who follow too closely and subsequently slam their brakes while driving are almost certainly terrible lovers.

Yeah, taking my talents north to Eugene's lake to get blasted with the boys and send clap bombs from the dock gonna pick off some kayakers

5 years ago today. pic.twitter.com/dO1bmCRYuh

America's Next Top Goth Librarian

country music i LOV countrey music! my favorte country musics are: american natiomnal anthem, canadiam national anthem, mexico national anth

I apologize if you've already seen a car-washing elephant today pic.twitter.com/AJuTWU7O0z

Girlfriends are like buses. You wait for ages and I like the bendy ones best.

Owyhee River, Idaho, USA #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/kGqacXxFsd

WHOEVER ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OVER MY MOMS LITTLE BUNNY STATUE U BETTER WATCH OUT U DONT TOUCH A LESBIANS STATUE

THERE'S GOLDFISH ON MY FRONT PORCH AND SOME OF THEM ARE DEAD IM JUST AN INNOCENT VEGETARIAN WHY pic.twitter.com/LBDWqWEYTi

When I'm asked if I want my cappuccino to go I say 'No I want it to stay where I can see it!' & they laugh because I'm a paying customer.

Firefighter rescues a cat from a burning house.The way he holds the cat and the expressions on the cats face it all! pic.twitter.com/rp6O8CShRw