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Losing Their Virginity on Prom
Me (deadpan): So... Working on anything?
JJ Abrams: ....... (chuckle)
if only Owen Wilson's nose could talk
Birds sure seem pretty stupid until you see pigeon shit on a Hummer.
If I hear a song I like, I will listen to it 470 times in a row by myself like a normal person.
Jesus Saves... well that's pretty Jewish of him. ;)
Why are children obese? Probably because cheeseburgers are $.99 and salads are $5.99.
Either I'm bad at completing my thoughts
It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die.
Do you ever feel like you're the friend everybody secretly hates?