I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin boys will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys in her at the same time.

Respect for Hernandez pic.twitter.com/lw6KKdw1MK

Your friend who's always up on the hottest new bands would like to borrow some money from you.

if this tweet gets 1,000 favs or retweets ill print it out light it on fire

.@oprah my pænus isn’t weird .

Trouble is most moms are too lazy. RT @nymag: Gwyneth Paltrow Says Modeling Is ‘a Perfect Job for When You Have Kids’  http://bit.ly/12VWeYl 

R.I.P. to all the relationships that are about to end because Summer is coming.

Not to brag but I'm followed by 11 Justin Biebers, 6 Barack Obamas and 4 Lady Gagas.

"You again?" - flight attendant as I boarded the plane.

Cem Adrian - Nereye Gidiyorsun

Today, in honor of World Goth Day, sack Rome.

One day, it was perfect. The next day, it was over.

you have the presence of mind to pack a lunch every day? congratulations you terrify me

white people who drink too much have been trying to change my mind about tom waits for ten years so dont even bother, guys

My personal trainer told me to stop eating pizzas but if I'm craving it I should just eat one slice. So now I ask them not to cut the pizza.