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all im sayimg is if its called a monster truck bc it's bigger and louder than a regular truck, why cant i call ur son a monster boy
Acacia can be in an open relationship with a guy like 5 years older than her and I can't? Disgusting.
Everyone gets out of a Range Rover like they're expecting applause.
What the hell was I thinking when I created religion?? *faithpalm*
[at the office]
*dont let everyone know I'm a bee, don't let everyone know I'm a bee*
HAHA DONT U HATE WHEN U CANT FIND THAT GOOD POLLEN THO
That boy is our last hope.
No. There is another updog.
Not much, dog. Up with you, what is?
I hate you sometimes.
I put my pants on just like everyone else: while clinically depressed
[At burger king]
"Would you like a drink or fries?"
Me: no thanks
"fine...Have It Your Way"
Me, to my wife: holy shit he said their slogan
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Sucks they charge for exit rows now. Used to be, you get extra room but if shit goes down you have to be a hero. That was the entire deal!
defense lawyer who acts cooler since getting his ear pierced: that robe slays, your honor
Cab Driver: What do you do back in California?
Me: I write for a TV show.
Cab Driver: Ugh, I hate television.
<3 <3 <3
And an ethics in video game journalism