ASI EMPEZO MI VICIO CON INTERNET pic.twitter.com/5WSet5kKKn

Faithful girls cry the MOST...

Californian loggers standing in the notch of giant tree. c. 1880 pic.twitter.com/mKOJ4WHOW1

My favorite kind of hiking is the kind where I don't go.

I just unfollowed Taylor Swift, I'm expecting a song within an hour.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Get in the van.

First things first pic.twitter.com/bJEcTZSFQX

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man about Phish, he'll smoke weed for a lifetime.

Hearing "I miss you" from the right person >>>>>

Rockhopper Penguins taking a freshwater shower to wash off the sea salt, Falkland Islands #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/VYQkYctA4E

A little (blue) bird told me that the place to be is @twitter, so here I am! pic.twitter.com/8AQzBsC6ia

I saw a bottle of dish soap in the shower & asked my mom what it was for & she looked at me & said "Your dad washes himself with dish soap"

my favorite part of my cellphone is when the screen goes dark for a half-second and I see my 19 chins in my reflection then cry for 2 hours.

A man is only as good as the beard that wears him. Merica.

Millions of sperm raced to fertilize the egg that made my daughter. Reading her report card, I can't believe the best one won.