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I will now tweet the entire plot of 12 Angry Men in emoji: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😏👍🏻🏃🏻
Hey babe, are you a ukulele? Cause anyone can have you completely figured out in 15 minutes & everyone's bummed when you show up at parties
Good Cop: tell us where the money is!
Glitch Cop: I AM STUCK IN WALL PLEASE HELP
i got a whole
pizza left for myself.
People my age are making babies and I can't even make a salad
first thing's first i'm not ok
I like to refer to ducks as mallards and as people are processing that, I bodyslam them by calling geese "canadian honkers"
"It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life." -Jon Hendren I invented this quote
i wanna do a 'dancing with the stars' except it's to vote for who will be my new psychiatrist