Listening to Taylor Swift. Wait nope just a teenage couple breaking up at the mall.

BY GEORGE HE MADE IT

Can’t wait to find out what I will feel uncomfortable about tomorrow!

Sunken couch, with sunken hot tub to the left. pic.twitter.com/BIrMxQh688

ron: am skared to go in th forbidin forist.

horry: y?

ron: teh deth eeturs wil eet my sole.

horry: gingurs dont hav soles.

Rt if u cryed

"Said nobody, ever" - an unfunny person, constantly

Here's what we're going to do:
Tweet me another user on Twitter, and I will follow them! Rules: you can't use your own username!

I like my snacks like I like my family relationships: unhealthy.

Dear ex, I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be.

Lebron flops more than the dead hooker rolling around in my car.

If we're at a party, I'd literally rather see you pull out a testicle than an acoustic guitar.

Sorry I've been off Twitter for so long. I owe y'all one! Follow spree?

deleting photos of your ex doesn't have the same dramatic flair as ripping them into tiny pieces & tossing them out the window like confetti

Paris Hilton is releasing a new album.
There has literally never been a better reason for the Death Star to explode your planet.

Yes, America's the fattest nation on earth but that also means we're the funniest when falling off bicycles.