Three day weekend in the chamber. Or “threekend,” if you will. More like “freak end” the way I do it!! #party #NoRules #USA #hanjob

Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.

ok guys making jokes about Amanda Bynes right now is like watching a person drown and yelling that their shirt is stupid

.@realdonaldtrump @dannyzucker It's @dannyzuker. It's not as easy to remember because I don't tackily plaster it all over buildings

the way he covers his body is the cutest thing in the world pic.twitter.com/v77QsUbBeK

If Jerry Lewis thinks women aren't funny he clearly doesn't read every 17th tweet of mine.

REMEMBER WHEN ZAYN TWEETED THIS SAYING "enjoying my view ;)" AND THEN HE DELETED IT IM LAUGHING SO HARD pic.twitter.com/MZINvm2x0f

.@realdonaldtrump Is this television pro the same one who helped you make a video for the RNC that was so awful even THEY wouldn't show it?

Rare cloud formation above the South Sandwich Islands near Antarctica‎ #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/EnrT3xyZmJ

1.) No shirt
2.) No shoes
3.) Matthew McConaughey

This is unreal—Visualize CSS rules on a webpage:  http://css.benjaminbenben.com  via @danielmall

If I die, please avenge me. If it's an accidental death, just go nuts on whoever.

Your house has lots of mirrors? RT @realdonaldtrump I study cowards and stupid people.

“On your way to a wedding?” - an earnest Canadian seeing Jay Leno in his downtime denims

.@missravensymone @hilaryduff hey thanks for not being crazy crackheads!