Hey kids, remember the feeling you got when you cleaned your room without being asked and no one noticed? That's what adulthood's like.

*closes Twitter*
*opens up Instagram*
*scrolls* *scrolls*
*closes Instagram*
*opens up Twitter*

#WhenImBored

snaepe: "okey. ur parints wil need to sine dis permishun slip fer teh feeld trip."
horry: "but my parints r ded"
snaepe: "ha"

Rt if u cryed

Bad decisions make good stories. Merica.

It's sad to think that after I die my family will have to live on with empty toilet paper tubes by every toilet forever

Pretty cool how Beyonce is the first woman ever to get pregnant twice.

I never feel more vulnerable than when my iPhone drops below 20%.

Magical Sunset over the City of Detroit, USA #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/KTp8xgIUW4

Single mothers deserve the highest honor. 🙏🙌🙏

Tonight's winning Powerball numbers will be 7, 22, 24, 31, 37 and 12.

Pretzels are probably M. Night Shyamalan’s favorite salty snack because they have a TWIST.

Great week. pic.twitter.com/YxOJIWItbW

Are there any 12 yr olds that want to hang out?

Quinoa is just rice that went to film school.

I'm comfortable with you when:

- I'm weird with you
- I sing whatever song comes into my mind
- I say what's on my mind
- I talk nonsense.