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[leaving to do something]
This will be fun
[3 minutes into doing it]
This is bad
Chuck Norris born May 6, 1945.
Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence? Probably not.
*mom knocks on the door*
"Honey, are you abusing drugs in there?"
*punches bag of weed across the room*
-No mom, just doing my homework.
I'm in bed.
I saw a spider crawling across the floor.
I can't get out
I've already eaten all the Thin Mints I brought to bed
Send help soon.
10 years ago we had Bob Hope Jonny cash & Steve jobs now I have no bread
Tutankhamun died in the bath. "Mum, I'm done in the bath. Come get me out. Mum? Waters cold. Mum, the waters makin me wrinkly." Then he died
the devil wears whatever he pleases
I get nervous when I see people arguing, like they're going to start yelling at me instead of each other
in a relationship with the past