Telling people to kill in My name was probably the worst PR advice I ever received.

Who want's a S/O = "Shout Out"?

"Please slate your name for the camera." "Jaden Smith." "Great job. You're hired." - After Earth casting process

So TRUE pic.twitter.com/Qww5NAJe8u

Last month I bought a soap online so now I have to delete an extra email every day for the rest of my life.

My cat just walked by me carrying a toy mouse I don't remember buying her. Women be shoppin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who else is single?

Since Jordan has the Jump Man logo, shouldn't Lebron have a stumbling silhouette yelling at a ref about a missed foul call?

Pacer fans be like.. pic.twitter.com/yCIXafuX9A

Fine. I’ll stop saying, “Happy New Year” to everyone. Jeez.

Do an extra line of coke tonight, Heat fans. You earned it.

HEAT WIN! 103-102 #HEATWave ╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰╮╰RETWEET ALL #Heat Fans 🏀🔥

I've never not silently said, "Of course." after finding out someone I've been talking to owns a ferret.

if someone told u that u looked pretty in the 7th grade they lied straight to ur face

If she's your girl...hug her, kiss her, tell her that you miss her, spoil her, love her, and NEVER let her feel like she's in competition👌