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every animal is peaches
My application for magic castle membership has been approved I AM NOW A MEMBER OF MAGIC CASTLE ANDWILLSPREADANDPROMOTEMAGICEVERYCHANCEIGET
Mark, step into my office. Close the door. Check out the glowing stars I put on the ceiling haha I hate working here, dude.
I wear sunglasses so u can't see my eyes. Am I looking at that cool dog? Or am I looking at that other cool dog across the street? Who knows
Facebook is comprised of people who don't know how to spell "definitely" but are certain they'd do a better job than the President
Someone wrote "pooping" on the wall of this bathroom stall so I wrote "tweeting"
Everyone's Instagram feed seems to be an answer to the question "What if my ex checks this every day?"
You know what's the sad thing about betrayal? The fact that it never comes from an enemy.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
Thank you, waiter, you can throw this steak out. I just wanted to take a picture of it.