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We are 15 minutes of basketball away from Drake becoming a Notre Dame fan
A dude is putting his unicycle on the front rack of this bus, and the driver is just shaking his head at him
I had a dream that Lil Wayne was 3 and a half feet tall
Damn girl are you my prom date because I should be asking you to dance but instead we're just standing here because of a long punch line
I used to be a pretty cute kid but now I look like a cross between Steve Buscemi, Shrek, & Chris Bosh
[brings bubble wrap to a rap battle]
Oh I thought this was a wrap battle
The great thing about being a college basketball player is having a surrogate father to disappoint in addition to your regular one
Books should now have an "Acknowledgements" and an "Acknowledgments of Various Privileges" section.