Just had my daily “favorite color” conversation with my four year old. #green

Attention: Due to maintenance, the laws of physics will be suspended from 11pm to 6am this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters.

i hope every one is trying their best online today but also having fun

@arianagrande So dont you worry baby you got me :)

¿Dónde para éste bus? Que me lleve a Londres, para darle un poco de uso... pic.twitter.com/xqWX1IBK7g

@niallofficial show us your irish sausage

The universe is filmed before a live audience.

My daughters turn 1 and 3 this weekend. It’ll be 48 solid hours of cake, glitter, and princess dresses. Do me a favor and avenge my death.

saggy + natural + hairy + discipline

the weight of the world is too much to bear today but luckily my mattress is on the floor so I can slither across the hall to the bathroom

Can you get a runner’s high from eating donuts?

#primaryschoolmemories sitting on these, and looking at all the peasants around you pic.twitter.com/zLFmeE0kKU

Just breathed on my dog's face then he licked the inside of my mouth ewww #firstkiss

FAV si me darías un abrazo. pic.twitter.com/YyMEp3hNII