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Recent tweets with 100 favs or more. Follow
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Outlook for tomorrow: Depressimistic.
@
debihope
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My other car is a couch.
@
debihope
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Twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU WON'T FUCKING STICK @#$*%$*%^(&^
@
debihope
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Life will be less complicated once my cat learns how to tie his own bow ties.
@
badbanana
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I'm at Dick's Sporting Goods. Their Black Friday Sale was so HUGE and long that people are still coming.
@
iamnotdiddy
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Clearly, there's no excuse for my behavior, so I'm drinking until I have one.
@
thedayhascome
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I'll know the terrorists have won when they can stand down a herd of my relatives asking them why they're not married yet.
@
debihope
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Hipsters don't fart. They just make fart noises with their mouth and then smirk. It smells like wasted potential.
@
sween
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Anal bleaching isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve been sitting in a tub of Clorox for two hours and it’s really starting to burn my ass.
@
Beef_Tongue
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Cocka doodle doo and gobble gobble sound dirty, but not particularly sexy.
Fowl language is not meant for everyone.
@
Beef_Tongue
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I discovered the best way to untangle Christmas lights is with scissors. I now have to buy new ones but you can't put a price on my sanity.
@
MrBigFists
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Christmas shopping can be so frustrating. Why don't they sell frankincense at the same stores they sell the myrrh?
@
badbanana
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I grin when I hear the word gamecock. Frankly, my cock is always game.
@
Beef_Tongue
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Lot of people would do well to spend less time finding life hacks and more time finding a life.
@
hotdogsladies
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Damn. Waterproof mascara is harder to get off than your mom.
@
debihope
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Free PSD Web Elements Kit -
http://bit.ly/DTfwu
- 17 web design elements in PSD
@
smashingmag
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Morning sex is like morning coffee. Even when it sucks it's pretty fucking good. And vice versa.
@
debihope
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Don't ask me if I love coffee more than you unless you're prepared to hear the answer.
@
debihope
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Haven't quite adjusted to the new time zone yet. up early with Frank watching back to the future.
@
nickjonas
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The family's asleep. I finally have the hotel room to myself. Time to practice my supermodel runway walk.
@
FriedWords
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