Most popular recent tweets. Follow @favstar100 on twitter...
1. Put chocolate chips in mouth.
2. Put peanut butter in mouth.
3. Chew.
4. Go outside and shriek at the moon because GOD I FEEL SO ALIVE!
Travel tip: as soon as the plane lands, stand in the aisle, ramming each other with your soulless moron faces chewing cud, you disgust me.
Sorry St. Patrick's Day, but I get drunk on cheap beer and beat up imaginary midgets for their money EVERY night.
Each night I jot down ideas for funny tweets.

First thing I read this morning:

OKAY I GOT MY SECOND WIND WHO CAN SMELL THAT

*proud tear*
The 5-year-old was up, "bored," at 5AM. Fuck UN sanctions. If any country ever tries to weaponize jetlagged children, we have to bomb it.
I'll only be part of a love triangle if I can be the hypotenuse.
Kiss me, I have low self-esteem. I mean, I'm Irish.
2 of my Irish ancestors walked into a bar.

They're still there.
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, you can drive the snake out of my pants.
FYI - Testicles are not consider "lucky charms" in the corporate world.


Related - I'm visiting HR again.
Don't forget the reason for the season, how God sent his other son, Patrick, to free us from our leprechaun overlords. Amen.
Wearing my lucky green underwear today to support alcoholism and my junk.
"Sabbath" can signify "Saturday," "Sunday," or "ass-kicking metal," depending on the religion being referenced.
Leprechauns are freaky, but Chakakhanchauns are horrifying. If you hear the opening of "I Feel For You" in the woods, run.
KISS ME, I'M CANADIAN.

We just like to be noticed.
You're upset because I wanted to have shower sex? OK, fine, just leave the stupid baby's present and let's go.
I want to congratulate Corey Haim for being a week sober.
These leprechauns are freaking me out. I think one just called me 'mommy.'
Ligature? I hærdly knœw her.
Refresh my memory. Are the Leprechauns the good or the bad Transformers?
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar