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Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer grows you.
The only time "incorrectly" isn't spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly♋
It's so ridiculous that bees just wander into your house like it's nothing, then behave like idiots when you put your face into their hive.
get busy living or get busy dying or do a podcast
I think you're all fantastic for wanting to make people laugh. That's like, a super nice thing to do.
Technically he was created by Dr. Cookie, that's why they call him The Cookie Monster.
Cocaine is fun cuz its always that slight risk of getting addicted and ruining ur life, which is always exciting
*finds celebrity's phone*
Bro check for nudes!
*Retweets my tweets from their account*
[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye]
"Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."
In the time it took you to read this, zero more people in the U.S. have gotten Ebola.
I dont want no slugs
A slug is a bug that cant get no love from me
Hidin in the trees i climb laughin when I find
slime on all of the leaves
[Sees a hot girl]
To self: say something cool
Outloud: "once I cried after losing in the finals of a Magic: The Gathering tournament"