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My kid knows to leave Santa a bottle of Grey Goose and Xanax if he wants to have a good Christmas morning.
lots of people are having ugly sweater parties. well dumbass heres a better idea: beautiful sweater party
I want to get so DEEP INTO SOMEONES HEAD THAT EVEN WHEN THEYRE MARRIED THEY LAY DOWN AT NIGHT SOMETIMES AND IMAGINE WHAT ITD BE LIKE W/ ME
*secretly hopes I hurt you*
not a lot of peopel kno that albert einstein had a evil twin named frank who was also a sciemtist
Imagine being a parent at a mall and having ur kid ask you to take them to hot topic
*steals your girl*
*whisks her away*
*high into atmosphere*
*back to nest*
I am bird.
She is dinner.
Thanks for girl.
I am so annoying and im so good at it
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY! HAD ME IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND THEN WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND LOCK ME OUT WHEN I LET YOU IN!?