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Everything is beautiful at the tea shop
[cops knock at the door]
Me: be out in a minute
Cop: open up
Me: this place is a mess tho [quietly] murder weapons everywhere
Life is too short to pretend to like people
BREAKING: Carly Fiorina sues Planned Parenthood shooter Robert Lewis Dear for plagiarism after his rant about “baby parts”.
If you ever feel alone, just remember that you are right. You are alone, and it has to be enough.
U ever see what u think is a beautiful woman & then she turns around & it's just a stack of my old Taco Bell receipts? why do i hoard those
I've thought it over, and, well...I agree with everything said on twitter today.
candidate: Planned Parenthood is vampires. someone should shoot them
guy: ok, i will do it
WHY ARE VIOLENT CRIMES INCREASING? VIDEO-GAME?
You must either be interesting or nice. Both is preferred, but one is required