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life is not a competition. so find your happiness, and stay there.
I'm cosplaying as a person who doesn't go to ComicCon.
Sometimes coffee is a buzzkill because it reminds you you're awake.
Boy: send me something ;)
Me: lol no I don't do that
Boy: sorry my grandpa took my phone :(
Do angry people know about naps?
Congratulations to everyone on the Internet for posting pictures of your Coke. That was definitely not the marketing plan of Coca-Cola.
Friday is the Beyoncé of weekdays.
only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity.
(tech guy gets sent back to the 1940s) Fellas, let's "disrupt" the Führer. My new app, "Hitlr," sends mean tweets to his official account.
When someone tells you, you look good for your age, it means you're old.
A cannibal and his vegetarian friend go to brunch. They both order a danish.
My dad's yelling "TURN OFF THAT MARIO GAME, IT'S TIME FOR DINNER" lol it's a jrpg idiot