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Talking to their dogs like they understand English
“im so fat!” i scream as i shove a brownie, pizza, my neighbors cat, two oak trees, a small country into my mouth
Paris Hilton's upcoming album is not a sign of the Apocalypse. It IS the Apocalypse.
People on Twitter are writers the same way people on Instagram are photographers.
A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesnt get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers.
Si le gustan hasta tus defectos, quédate con él.
Drinking beer in their yard while shirtless
Every nosebleed is an opportunity to fool a child into believing they have the ability to melt your brain
Every text I get, I always hope it's you..
Margaret Atwood tweeted at me.