i think twitter is for laughing, crying, and information.

If you're not ashamed of yourself after eating cheese dip you're not doing it right.

It's sad nobody bothered to ask what that MGM lion was roaring about the beginning of movies.

i grow more powerful every day and by powerful i mean sad

if you turn off the lights and say "twerking out" in the mirror 3 times, amanda bynes will appear and throw a bong at you.

FAV mis followers mexicanas.

Saying the term "douchebag"

All I really want is for my son to be happy when he grows up. And to never ever be the guy who brings his guitar to a party.

Mansions in California are amazing. pic.twitter.com/arvzykQZ1l

why is it that like 99.9% of girls look thin and cute in over sized shirts but i look like a beanbag

No feelings, no problem.

I bet Amanda Bynes was like "NO DON'T USE THAT AS MY MUGSHOT ONLY USE ONE OF MY TWITTER PICTURES AS MY MUGSHOT" when they took her mugshot.

end of night 3. pretty sure my masking tape is gone. going to put up a few more posters, but probably quiet on my end now. love you all.

This poop feels way better knowing we're still in the playoffs.

#WhenIGetMarried divorce is not an option. We're going to smoke out our disagreements.