Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
You can either be real with me or be fake without me. The choice is yours.
Boys whatever, cats forever. ✌️😽
-what else would u like on ur sandwich
-how about some updog?
-*sprinkling anthrax on sandwich* anything else?
-not much what's up with u?!
time to cover the mirrors and take my weekly bath
Sorry kids, now that grandpa's dead we're going to have to take you to the doctor to get the quarters removed from your ears
How Taylor Swift tried to trademark the word 'music'
who had the audacity to decide which plants were weeds and which were flowers
Take me down to the Twittercide City where the people are mean and the subtweets are witty.
I finally did it! Last night I was a guest on the Late Show w/ David @letterman! Check out the interview & more here- http://www.rejectedjokes.com/post/109486983069/in-2003-2004-i-was-an-audience-page-for-the-late …
The only thing "ironic" about that Alanis Morissette song is that losers talk shit on it even though it's actually chill and makes you think
real friends go on club penguin together