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Lightning at Clearwater Beach, Florida, USA #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/0PjCFy9e8Q
Whenever someone texts me “bahaha” I like to pretend they’re hanging out with sheep.
You should have to pass a walking exam before you are allowed to carry an open umbrella
3 Leopards found this injured Impala. Instead of eating it they just walked away without eating it, Zambia #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/YpQgnR8iq2
Our Doomsday/Suicide Cult turned into a recipe exchange so gradually I don't think any of us even noticed.
If you’re having trouble “closing the deal” with a woman, just whisper “Nick Cave’s voice” and her panties will evaporate.
Change in your pocket, domesto cans on ice, your team on top, arms on swoll, a jam on the radio, and babes in the night. The American Dream.
Seeing guys play with little kids is probably one of the most attractive things ever.
I seriously can't wait to get married one day & have a cute house & cute kids
I don't need a perfect relationship, I just need someone who won't give up on me.
"I'll make him an offer he can't reuse, reduce, or recycle." - Al Goreleone
