i tried to see a boob

Sun Rise Behind Mount Fuji, Japan #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/y2r46qAnLt

For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"

ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD: Any producers needing music for main characters' first kiss, my song "Welcome to Boner City" is still available.

i think twitter is for laughing, crying, and information.

If you're not ashamed of yourself after eating cheese dip you're not doing it right.

Dear Mom, because of you I am what I am today, thank you, I love you.

It's sad nobody bothered to ask what that MGM lion was roaring about the beginning of movies.

Life is a cup in their hands yet we feel like freaks stuck with this disease that is revealed

good gracious i had a nightmare that my head was a big peanut

Girls be like "Just did my nails" pic.twitter.com/tYwHxiU5if

Your Arnold impression is considerably worse than you think it is.

I hate when people are elitist. Especially if they are my chauffeur.

#WhenIGetMarried there will be no divorce, we got together for a reason.

That one person you just cannot stay mad at 😍😡😤😘❤