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A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby.
im stuck in a tree again and i refuse to learn from mistakes
Hope everyone has a safe holiday weekend. Remember to wipe front to back.
Why yes, I am ignoring you.
Checking my phone one more time before I go to sleep because apparently 533 times wasn’t enough today.
If you still:
Carry her bags,
Open the door for her
Tell her that shes beautiful,
And show her respect.
You're a real man.
any wedding with more than 100 guests should just be called a divorce.
Just when you think things can't get any worse is when you should stop thinking.
life is nothing like a box of chocolates but more like a piñata that's stuffed with bills
a great pramk to do on ur son is, when youre on ur deathbed, make sure ur last words are "i'd rather die then hug u. see look" hahaha ownded