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It's illegal to eat a Kinder Surprise chocolate egg in America, on health grounds. It's fine for 9yr olds to use Uzi submachine guns.
My mind never stops 🏃 at night.
As a pejorative, "Politically Correct" has lost its bite. It's now a cliché. What we have is an Orwellian (but unofficial) "Thought Police".
I'm so unlucky to meet you in my life.
someone please make a bot that replies to every pumpkin spice latte tweet with "your joke is really good thank you for posting it"
We never write "D'oh!" in scripts. It always says (ANNOYED GRUNT)
Pumpkin spice lattes are like the Big Macs of Ryan Gosling. Please RT if you recognize any of that shit.
Pumpkin spice lattes much? Basically this drink is super popular in autumn. All I have to do is say the name of the drink and it's funny.
Being a student is stressful yet fun.
Does the Constitution say: 'The right of 9-yr-old girls to bear Uzi submachine guns'? Does it, America? If not, DO SOMETHING.