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[my date glances back at the line of ducklings following me on our romantic walk]
me: "long story."
An infinitive verb walks into a bar. To drink.
"YOU HAVE 3 WISHES"
"Itunes vouchers please"
"AND FOR YOUR OTHER WISHES?"
"nah man I'm good"
I like people way more when I find out they like Star Wars
You can learn to hate, and you can learn to spell. But apparently it's one or the other.
SON: Look at that sunset! It's perfect.
DAD: It gets old. *takes a swig* It all does.
oh your Halloween party starts at 6:30 well I guess I'm going as "guy who is at least four hours late to your party"
hey don't drink soda
this just in SNCKPCK has no chill