Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
5-year-old: She bit me!
3-year-old: I had to! I'm a shark!
Me: Sorry, guys. I don't intervene in the food chain.
I just bought Mars from a guy behind Walmart for $20 and half a pack of smokes, so if you’re thinking of moving there you have to ask me 1st
Buffalo wings. Hell, anything buffalo is good. https://twitter.com/rikirachtman/status/615917949451411461 …
Cat: aw they got you a new toy?
Dog: don't be grey with envy
Cat: you mean green? lol
Dog: this is why everyone hates you
i am sick of liberal americans shoving their rock hard, throbbing beliefs down my moist, yielding christian throat
Noted. Thanks for the tip!! https://twitter.com/zoticone/status/615910274445414402 …
Chris Christie is running & I promise not to make any crude weight jokes. Including the obvious one, about Chris Christie running.