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Cute photo of your kid with Santa. Also, you just stood in line and paid $50 for a stranger in a disguise to touch your child.
Walter loved Jillian, the librarian. He longed to sort her stacks, turn her pages. But they were shelved apart, classics and new releases.
My brother-in-law refused to wear the leather tux I selected for my groomsmen & he wonders why he doesn't get a Christmas card...
The fact that Apple charges $80 for a replacement power cord should make Steve Jobs AND Ashton Kutcher roll over in their graves
hey mackelmore can we go gift shoping lol
India just made it illegal to be gay, but hey, let's look at the bright side - we've got like five places in the world where we're accepted.
oh sick, that coffee shop has a clever name. that means it has more whimsy than the other coffee places, which is what i want in the morning
If you offer me a high-five but then pull away & say "too slow," we are not friends anymore
If you sneeze and the pope says "bless you" it opens a 24hr window to seek revenge on your enemies with impunity.
if money doesn't buy happiness explain pizza to me
Kayne West said performin' is like goin' to war. Son, you talk fast for a livin. Until you're dodgin' bombs on-stage, know your role. Merica