Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The best part about being Batman is you don't have stupid parents to tell you what to do.
Just so you know, kissing someone mid-sentence works better in films than when a bus conductor is asking why you don't have a valid ticket.
for 1 milion dolars: how many toes u hav:
*chooses b jus to say 69 on national tv*
*regis givs me bigest high five*
when a dude touches me in conversation it sets off something primal in me: the suspicion that he read a book about dating
Hey, companies. No one has their confirmation number. You're the company, you do the work.
My doctor suggested I give up coffee, but I need that energy to dig a grave for the doctor I just killed.
meeting the Kool-Aid Man is an exciting experience until you realize there are like 3 drowned kids floating inside of him
I never wish I was a lollipop more than when I use one of the tubes at the bank drive-thru.