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if you tie 2 tampons together you can make raccoon nunchucks
Dad to his two ish year old son in line at the donut store, 'You ready to party?'
Homer Simpson on the Bible: “All these people are a mess…except this one guy.”
Honestly, I would rather hear a guy say, "I made plans for us." Instead of the usual, "I don't know, it's whatever you wanna do.
You know God only had one child because he considered Sunday a day of rest.
Hi this is lukes mum my son is a lil shit
The first time I saw a boob, I congratulated the girl on 'growing such a magnificent blob'.
I was weird.