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Matt lauer is the type of dude u look at n r like damn hes a normal dude but like he totally probably smells his own farts n giggles lmao
me: what’s a dog’s favorite button on the remote?
wife: I dunno, what?
wife: I slept with your brother
i will quit smoking if this tweet gets 100 likes. 😂😂🚬🚭
nik stauskas has a great chance to be the first player in nba history to play every game while on the verge of tears
*sees Sounds of the 2000s playlist*
how is that even different than 2010s music?
*Hey Ya starts playing*
every time i fall in love with a tv show i like every mean tweet i see about it to convince myself i'm fair and balanced
do i seem ok
Was there a time when I didn't know how to get holiday style on a budget? If I'm being honest, yes -- and it nearly cost me my life
People with private Twitter accounts should know that withholding their tweets is like not letting us talk to their toddler on the phone.