how my Internet addiction started as a kid... pic.twitter.com/UMObBDM5rX

Looking the same age from 15-40 years old.

The girls at hooters may be hot. but when it comes down to it, the ladies at subway are the real wife material..

when I see a flat-chested girl I'm all looks like someone never got a visit from the titty fairy then I walk away with like ten mexican guys

why is it that like 99.9% of girls look thin and cute in over sized shirts but i look like a beanbag

If this gets 500 faves I will post a video of me punting a funnel cake.

I think I'm in love... 😍😍 pic.twitter.com/Dnu2LRUKmK

Remember when they called it the 'Xbox 360' 'cos they were afraid 'Xbox 2' would sound like it was lagging behind the PS3? Funny old world.

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

there's a twitter room where people with verified accounts go to talk shit about me and shit on my good name and make me look like shit

I just watched a guy get out of his car so his wife could parallel park it for him. Dude, kill yourself.

walk into the club like pic.twitter.com/vjtQnTmfzA

I can never get enough kisses from my boyfriend. After I get 1 kiss I want 1,000 more.

#iAmTheTypeOfGirlfriend that would go out of my way to make sure that my boyfriend is happy.

any time i say i like an indie band people call me a hipster and any time i say i dont like an indie band people call me a hipster