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I let my kids put candy corn in their cereal today because I need them to love me the most.
My dad has dressed as the invisible man for the past 30 Halloweens in a row.
crypt of the bullshit idiot
I am Amanda Bynes and I will fight for my freedom from my parents because th ey don't know the first thing about how to take care of me !
If you're handing out full size candy bars today I definitely know a gal who puts out.
"This job is for the birds" I say as I dig in the ground for worms to feed our bird overlords. The sky is filled with songs of victory.
Chances you get Ebola from a nurse: 0/300 million
Chances you'll die by gunshot: 1/10K
This has been today's Worry About the Right Shit
Don't try to make me stay, or ask if I'm okay, I don't have the answer.
Hey guys, Sam Lufti continues to hack my twitter. He is evil and needs to be stopped.
I am the kind of person that laughs even on a simple joke, but easily get hurt in a simple way.
One year (I was 15) we bought TONS of candy and no one came. Finally we saw a kid across the street and my sister and I CHASED THEM DOWN.