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Just farted on a wood chair in public but thankfully no one heard it because I have my earbuds in.
If you don't like abortions you should be GALLOPING to support Planned Parenthood in a FERRARI.
can't wait to be a ghost at my own funeral and stand there doing a J.O. hand motion the whole time
I don't understand why blacks and whites and people of all colors can't unite against their common enemy: teenagers
Haiku:
Games, lights, sounds, buttons
Final Test: Can this toy fly?
Rest in peace, iPhone
This Sunday on Netflix, I play a tiny role in 1 of the best comedies of all time. It's @arresteddev. @mitchhurwitz @batemanjason @arnettwill
A pool in Mumbai that looks like Manhattan flooded to raise awareness of climate change #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/k3i066YhvY
The best part about being Batman is you don't have stupid parents to tell you what to do.
Just so you know, kissing someone mid-sentence works better in films than when a bus conductor is asking why you don't have a valid ticket.
Colombian police pose with drug lord Pablo Escobar's body; one of the richest and most powerful criminals ever. 1993 pic.twitter.com/UvXdUFyix7
