Join the Dark Side, we put the cute in execute.

Just imagined what the inside of Guy Fieri's leather wrist cuff smells like. Had to throw up in a mailbox.

Whenever I swore as a kid my parents would wash my hands out with soap.

Put two giant googly eyes on some cotton candy and tell me it doesn't look exactly like Nicki Minaj.

Try not to think about the depressing, existential implications of "yolo."

"Butt, butt, butt...!"-person trying to point out a butt to person who won't listen hi I'm Shelby I want to be a comedian when I grow up

When I can't remember which actor was in some movie, I do what you do: write a letter to the celeb column in PARADE magazine & wait 3 months

Sometimes I miss caring. Just kidding.

My mom likes fruit on her pizza but she also knows who Cliff Burton was, so it evens out.