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my self-esteem is like a 6-piece chicken mcnuggets: fake, killing me and never enough
when i'm dead i will still worry abt being hot
Jesus was gay, that's why He was always like "ah, men!"
South Side Slugs tour is going to be historic. i cant wait to see everyone. bring kush. ill smoke with you. maybe 😏
i try never 2 be in my body
oh shit my remix of Nuclear almost got 1milly plays SHIIIITTTTTT LOVE YALL FOR LISTENING *kisses you on your face* https://soundcloud.com/dillonfrancis/zomboy-nuclear-dillon-francis-remix …
I hate it when my wife asks if I've been drinking and I accidentally respond with a 9-minute air guitar solo.
If you work with anthrax, please print out and complete this checklist every day:
❏ Make sure everything is okay with the anthrax
Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks because of too much expectations.
Edgar Allan Poe's full name is Edgar Allan Poetry.
My twelve year-old daughter wants to see San Andreas because, "I'm interested in the devastation."
My work here is done.