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Attention: Due to maintenance, the laws of physics will be suspended from 11pm to 6am this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters.
i hope every one is trying their best online today but also having fun
The universe is filmed before a live audience.
My daughters turn 1 and 3 this weekend. It’ll be 48 solid hours of cake, glitter, and princess dresses. Do me a favor and avenge my death.
saggy + natural + hairy + discipline
the weight of the world is too much to bear today but luckily my mattress is on the floor so I can slither across the hall to the bathroom
Can you get a runner’s high from eating donuts?