House in the Maldives. pic.twitter.com/2qjUWYJUn4

Me to caller: How did you pay off your debt? Him: I found this place called work, the more you go there the more money they give you.

"Tastes pretty good. But it could use more donuts." - me as a chef

Planning Their Drinking Schedule in the Morning

Time Lapse Solar eclipse near Shute Harbour, Australia #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/lPecyH4rmw

Lunchables are a great way to let your kids know that you love them but not too much.

Sitting on a train with a family of Asian dudes. They all pulled out bananas and gave me a banana.

We're having a banana party 🍌🎉

A short film I created with @coollike and shot by @ciaranobrien is finally ready. It's called The Tea Chronicles  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtsXLxwuCIg …

A giant rabbit named Herman weighs a massive 7.7 kg, has 21 cm ears - Berlin, Germany #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/qfo5oQtmEo

I wonder if you miss talking to me.

*politely deletes ignored tweets*

Smoking three cigarettes at a time when drunk

The pain of childbirth seems like an OK trade off for how great it feels to take to your bra off.

Sun Rise Behind Mount Fuji, Japan #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/y2r46qAnLt

Lana Del Rey's Year-Book photos! pic.twitter.com/2oavCUzB6q