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i tried to see a boob
For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD: Any producers needing music for main characters' first kiss, my song "Welcome to Boner City" is still available.
i think twitter is for laughing, crying, and information.
If you're not ashamed of yourself after eating cheese dip you're not doing it right.
Dear Mom, because of you I am what I am today, thank you, I love you.
It's sad nobody bothered to ask what that MGM lion was roaring about the beginning of movies.
Life is a cup in their hands yet we feel like freaks stuck with this disease that is revealed
good gracious i had a nightmare that my head was a big peanut
Your Arnold impression is considerably worse than you think it is.
I hate when people are elitist. Especially if they are my chauffeur.
That one person you just cannot stay mad at 😍😡😤😘❤