Me to caller: How did you pay off your debt? Him: I found this place called work, the more you go there the more money they give you.

Time Lapse Solar eclipse near Shute Harbour, Australia #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/lPecyH4rmw

Lunchables are a great way to let your kids know that you love them but not too much.

Sitting on a train with a family of Asian dudes. They all pulled out bananas and gave me a banana.

We're having a banana party 🍌🎉

A short film I created with @coollike and shot by @ciaranobrien is finally ready. It's called The Tea Chronicles  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtsXLxwuCIg …

I wonder if you miss talking to me.

*politely deletes ignored tweets*

Smoking three cigarettes at a time when drunk

Sun Rise Behind Mount Fuji, Japan #EarthPics pic.twitter.com/y2r46qAnLt

Lana Del Rey's Year-Book photos! pic.twitter.com/2oavCUzB6q

I love that Red Hot Chili Peppers song about Scott Tissue.

The harder a person is on the outside......the softer the stuff on the inside that it's protecting.

lets stay up all night and figure out a way to make sure the sun stays down

When I see someone with an umbrella, I just assume they got tired of carrying their giant cocktail.

Hey @cnn, u don't have to show a video of schoolchildren screaming during a tornado. When did your channel become a horror movie?