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My dad just shared a Batman meme, please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time
[devil flying helicopter]
me: you ever consider callin this bad boy
devil [quietly]: here it comes
me: a HELL-icopter
devil: holy shit lol
If you can't handle me at my worst, well, you're right to leave. My best is exactly the same, but without the spinach in my teeth.
If any members of Green Day ever die on September 30th you guys are going to look really dumb.
Do people seriously still believe in god?
the worst thing is when a song reminds you of someone that doesn't deserve it
15 years ago we had mail cigs and bola now we have e-mail e-cigs and e-bola
For some rainy day entertainment, pick a random lunch from the office fridge and throw it in the trash
I don't want to body shame anyone but you're all made out of gross ape meat
I was going to die of an incurable illness until you ran that 5K