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I thought I saw The Hamburglar on the street but it was just some other hamburglar
So sorry your brother died, hey what are you gonna do with all his Legos
Three nihilists walk into a bar. The first orders nothing. The second: nothing. The third: something. For the cute materialist down the bar.
[Pretending to talk on the phone to impress hot girl on the bus]
"buddy I don't get out of bed for less than $14"
Calm down, a 9-year-old child accidentally killed someone with an UZI. It's not like she saw a gay couple kiss or a woman breastfeed.
i was opening a trash bag outside and a bird flew directly into it and i was like “same”