Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law.
As saddening as it is, I have accepted that my best hair day of the year could very well be behind me
Plot twist: Fish does fry in the kitchen;
Beans do burn on the grill.
How do I uninstall the app where people text me
I don't get when ppl say "I miss your old stuff", like, it's still there? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Somebody better get murdered good as hell on dateline tonight or I'll be pissed
Sometimes God doesn't change your situation because He's trying to change your heart.
murderer: any last words?
If I die in my sleep there's a lot of bullshit I won't have to deal with this week.
🍑 🍑 OOTY