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So the Dalai Lama, Confucius and Deepak Chopra walk into a bar.
The barman says 'help yourselves'.
oh, sharknado is bad on purpose. ohhh. ohhhhhhhhhh. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ain’t been this drunk in months
I know I'll love you forever the same way I know the sky is blue
"you asked for 3 glasses. a german would ask for 3 glasses. you asked for 3." - my unsuccessful radio adaptation of inglourious basterds
Dating is so awkward, like explaining who Jeff is and how I tied my ponytail to his ponytail and now he has to go everywhere with me
We accept the love we think we deserve me parece una frase tan genial que bien la paso siendo OBESA
Orlando Bloom tried to punch Justin Bieber then Bieber posted a pic of Orlando crying on instagram. I am an adult man writing this at 1am.