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Let Me be your rock. Then throw Me at someone.
"Did your dad hug you at least once a year, or do you want one of the loud ones?" -motorcycle salesmen
"A bunch of us are grabbing drinks after work." "Yeah, sorry, I only hang out with you if I'm getting paid."
Being more excited to see their dogs than their parents for summer break
Snorting things prescribed to be taken orally
Denying their own ancestors' Genocidal tendencies
Every place the Kool-Aid Man goes is a hole-in-the-wall
Is Laura Bush the world’s most famous goth?
an Abercrombie greeter smiled at me and I didn't know what to do so I threw my Jamba Juice at him
•Tape 9 raisins together to form a "raisin tube"
•Trust me: panic
•Capture a rabbit to cuddle with until help arrives