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Fav si me creo un snapchat
If you're tired in the afternoon, another cup of coffee is a great way to still feel tired & also like you're having a heart attack.
Sarah Palin's new TV channel costs $99.95 a year. Or you could just Skype w/ your aunt's craziest friend for free.
Look, this girl on the phone at the Post Office doesn't CARE what he said or did, they have a very open relationship, he was on molly anyway
If you need a gun w/a 30-round magazine for hunting you're not a 2nd amendment defender, you just suck at hunting.
God is real when you're about to finish a burrito bowl and there's still some meat at the bottom.
Stop wasting your money on cookbooks. Every recipe is just olive oil and garlic.
These apps know me better than my parents.
My mum just followed me on twitter, please don't look through my followers and try bang her.
100 favs ill upload a track