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That's right, I make people transgender. They are strong and inspiring! Anyone who has a problem with that can go to hell.
"Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."
Him: Can you pass the-
SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER
Just ate an entire pizza while buying gym clothes online and now I'm American.
I'd drop the halo to my knees for you
By the time he gets to the end of "Creep" Scott Weiland is only 1/131,072 the man he started as. It's a wonder you can even see him.
"In my defense, Your Honor, I only made comments about her yoga pants cause harassment a lot to me"
"Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"
When someone loves you
for who you are
with all your scars...
Fight for them.
The only time I ever even consider socializing with my neighbors is when I can smell their grill going outside.
If cheese made you drunk, I wouldn't be able to walk right now.
Some of us love with all that we are.
I'm white but not 'stands in front of the band screaming for Freebird' white.
[leaving a birthday party with my piñata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that
"Just take me home"
At some point you have to overcome all the hurt and move on ...
Leaving the bitterness behind as well
It’s pretty rude to look into my eyes after I went through all the trouble of finding that perfect push-up bra.
In any given situation, all you can hope to control is your reaction.
If you need me, I'll be away.
I went to a date auction tonight. I bought May 14, 1992.