Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
He asked what my favorite position was... I said CEO
The only beautiful I want you to see, is everytime you look at me..
I hate when I go grocery shopping and end up signing autographs.
"Sir, please stop making this weird and sign the credit card receipt."
"I've never seen True Romance but I...." she tried to finish as I ran out the door
Good boys who know when to be bad
~ beat bad boys every time
Some girls on here amaze me.
You can't cook.
You can't wash
You can't take care of your husby
What can u now do?
All I want is for my wife's cancer to stay gone and for her to live a long healthy life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman who's sick of putting up with everyone's shit.
Me: Things will get better
If misery loves company then I'm an open house.
I might be holding a heart of stone, but I can make it melt by holding onto you.
People who have the time to maintain more than one active Twitter account must get their unemployment checks by direct deposit.
I just don't want to look back on my life and wish I had more regrets.
I just wish I could find the man you pretend to be on Twitter.
"Let's be extra chatty on the internet tonight"
*aggressively yawns to get guests to leave*
4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said "People are a prototype" and I was too scared to ask what he meant.
Fred Astaire because Fred a like a what he sees.
Nobody ever asks for my advice anymore. Mission accomplished
All I'm saying is that you've never seen me, tequila and my dignity in the same room together