Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I always get moody and emotional during this part of my billing cycle.
Someone can hurt you more than you deserve because you love them more than they deserve.
Excuse me, have you always been a knob?
*tackles your legs as you walk away* we're hugging now this is hugging and it's nice
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
I'll rip your heart out and stomp on it but that just shows I care.
I don't know what good me being here is doing.
I create my own luck. Also, my own problems. I'm very creative.
I'm not above faking hemorrhoids just to have someone do butt stuff to me.
I said my final goodbye to you today Dad. You blessed everyone's life with your sense of humour. I hope your legacy, lives through me. ❤❤
If you argue with a woman and you win, you have actually lost her.
Don't try to understand why people mistreat you.
Try to understand why you let them.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame & place it on the mantel at the party.
Worked out that working out is not going to work out for me.
*eats chocolate spread from the jar*
I'm damned if I do, but I will if he lets me.
How to flirt with someone in a museum:
Introduce urself then say, "I would shake ur hand but that sign says not to touch the masterpieces."
Oh you crazy kids and your skywriters...
*hires dude from down the street who swears he's a pro at smoke signals*
My favorite thing about my internet clique is that my list of imaginary friends is epic.
People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life.
My two best scars are the unfortunate results of me trying to open food packaging.