Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
1) def don't kill
2) no stealing, obvs
3) don't say my name? idk
4) luv ur neighbs!
5) but don't LOVE-love them, that's bad
Dirty Dancing taught us that family vacations are the best way to find out if your dad is good at abortions
Doubt is the most poisonous of all seeds
It has the power to destroy everything you have.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
You can steal my tweets and sell them for drugs, I don't care.
CNN has replaced Nancy Grace with 60 minutes of the AOL dial-up screeching noise. Viewers find it less annoying.
Looking back I probably should've taken my life a little bit more seriously.
If you're obsessive compulsive and you know it, wash your hands!
For having no job and no money. My wife sure does say no a lot.
Sleep is for people who don't wear capes to work.
H- "So how would you describe yourself?"
Me- "Verbally but just incase I prepared a dance"..
I may not be perfect but I'm definitely not fake
Everything I know about humanity I learned waiting tables in a restaurant.
Relationship Status: we made our marriage counselor cry.
There are no words that are more painful than the silence of being ignored.
Wait, wait, wait....white people can just decide that burrito is too hard to pronounce, so they call em 'wraps' and everyone's cool with it?
I was in the throws of making you're expresso, and wanted to axe you why your looking over their?
Irregardless, enjoy you're brake
I'm artsy which means I'm bad at everything
A chick I knew in H.S. defriended me on Facebook, then sent me an invite to her kid's birthday party.
What's the etiquette?