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sorry I didn't instagram my dinner, I'm very busy imagining a completely different life while doing nothing to achieve it
Malala is the bravest person alive but after her it's gotta be anyone eating a hot dog at the movies.
Me, the coach, after the puppy bowl: "These dogs have a lot of heart. We've got a lot of good boys out there. They all get to go outside."
You're kidnapped/locked in a trunk & call your boyfriend for help. Would the "no, you hang up first" conversation still happen? I'm curious.
LEO: remember the first time someone asked you to stay? how long has the the hole u tore into yr own chest for them to live in been empty?
Maybe that's just her scary Halloween costume,
Maybe it's Maybelline.
Jaden Smith Really Wishes He Was A Member Of Odd Future
im drinking Mikes Hard Urine® the piss with beer in it™
i hope my wine is chilled enough by the time ahs comes on.
I think the Gilmore Girls should Gil Less, but that's none of my business
Will you lunatics please stop jumping the White House fence and learn how to use WordPress like a normal person with grievances?
[Trying to bully Jaden smith]
ur so ugly, when u look at a mirror it breaks!
"How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real"
The trick is to be psycho, but flirtatiously.
hating blue ivy is racist. you think she's ugly because she doesn't have european features.
BEAUTY TIP: replace your head with a sunset