Feel my handsome jawline with your soft palms-its firmness makes you brute. If you'd like, I'll be your mother. And your father.
Of course I have received splinters. I do not remove them. Small branches emerge from me and bear fruit in the shape of my face.
If you tell a pretty girl she's smart and a smart girl she's pretty then fuck you to everyone who's ever called me both smart and pretty.
The greatest moment of my life where my wife was covered in blood and poop would have to be the birth of my children.
We talked, we flirted, we liked each other, we never got together. You moved on, I moved on, but deep down, I loved you.
Let's all take a minute and be thankful that we live in a world where we have the freedom to not give a fuck.
Mr Potato Head turned white with fear, when he realized all his children would be chips off the old block.
