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Every single person on the planet has the reflexes of a superhero if you start scrolling through their photos while holding their phone.
Wake up every morning with the idea that something wonderful is possible today.
It'd be really nice to have a president who wasn't devoutly Christian (or at least pretending to be devoutly Christian).
The VMAs have become self aware so we have no choice but to destroy them.
President Obama will tape an episode of "Running Wild with Bear Grylls" while in Alaska, to air later this year, NBC says.
Redskins officially pick Kirk Cousins as their starting quarterback to carry them to a 4 win season.
I'm gonna fix/I'm gonna fix my/I'm gonna fix my rusty cage, using one of the three methods I found on WikiHow https://twitter.com/tcote/status/638344316306518016 …
bracing myself for today's articles about how empowering miley was and how nicki was just a sore angry loser.
if you called james franco a millennial he would not correct you
"They’re not pro-life. You know what they are? They’re anti-woman."
- George Carlin https://twitter.com/DineshDSouza/status/638336553262034945 …
"Remove cardboard sleeve"
"Pierce film lid"
"Place on a non-metallic plate"
GOD I might as well have made it from scratch myself.