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  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    Job interview: "What is your greatest weakness?"
    "Honesty."
    "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
    "I don't give a fuck what you think."

    • 100
    • FAVS
    blakShuzLishivajohnwtomkinsonmoldyratnuzzaciMissAlloVeraStellarCrydvmoc
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    Lishivamcinvalemgqzsk8isabellfosym5olivarezdhwkhs3hearlwxeu8iantweetzhealycwcncq9benthamqndca4
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    WARNING: Whatever you do do not open a link "Ke$ha's new single". Im serious. It directs you to Ke$ha's new single

    • 24
    • FAVS
    LishivatripdIVSarcasmo718FuckQueueRFBoisvertmartwan55Afzaliradddcrob205
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    Lishivahenry_ethetgexperienceJayJazziAnotherFilmKuma79nailbiter111tvchiquita
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    Guys, dont try to understand women. Women understand women and they fucking hate each other

    • 41
    • FAVS
    Concertina81LishivaVonBrutalChampionSarahNakedRNducksthoughtsanne_catsHalbrader
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    LaylaSocksLishivaseanyeattswhoisTSeevlorihouse13amarynksRPatz257Halbrader
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    LADIES!!! Do NOT die a virgin!! There are terrorists waiting for you up there

    • 39
    • FAVS
    LishivaJuliimonsterphalaenadisparBrentweetsButtRockBettyjustbrandtsolidsignal123TINO
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    LishivahamadulhassanphalaenadisparButtRockBettypraj69Jester498HABUMDADATheMel01
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    What fucking asshole named it a Jet Ski instead of Boatercycle?

    • 38
    • FAVS
    LishivaVonBrutalFussySaffaTheChevalieriThe_third_meicheagleboldnessLonnieUdunnoMeBNotMarkAllen
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    LishivaLickMeisterEilish_PuddlesEtherealDream3rBrownthund3rKaliWallEblakeblizzySrishtiSanjayDa
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    RT please Comedy Central will air Patrice's 'Elephant in the Room' special twice tonight. First at 8pm EST and uncensored at midnight EST.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    theschmeltzDrtydog21rerunmightyTravisMat
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    alkocanoDoctorGoodlegDuckClarkkelfranjaholmgrenfloydmanta73just_DMJChadsBaseball
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    The fattest knight at the round table was Sir Cumference. He got his girth from too much pi

    #Punday

    • 31
    • FAVS
    LishivaDamnItsAtijosephthomasmastertononebohokelsochagger73rotusbrossumnotsocrzycatldy
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Lishiva__scribblesMigzzzaKiKii_GM_chelleMyBellemastertononeSeeWiLderchagger73
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    The best thing about hand sanitizer in hospitals is that everyone is walking around like they're hatching a dastardly plan

    • 27
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    LishivaVonBrutalkaykaymourTRACYFISH2756AmberStar11sultryglebechelseamcfEraserhead91
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    LishivaTRACYFISH2756Mrlin13chelseamcfKinkyRocketronthebotGaragePnkChickJoshD
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    Sorry but your password must contain a uppercase letter, number, a punctuation mark, a gang sign, an extinct mammal annnnd a hieroglyph

    • 11
    • FAVS
    LishivahombredepannancywisserTRACYFISH2756erynofwalesMaryellenxjomarie26TheResident
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    LishivaclintstevennancywisserTRACYFISH2756taranicolekgrblladywhimsyvictorianminds
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    WARNING: The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name and the company should be sued. Im on my way to the hospital now

    • 25
    • FAVS
    LishivaOverdue_BillsbrunopieroniDene00JimmyNordonthebatrix13gfrydunlopridecaryride
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    LishivaxibogasyOverdue_BillsDene00Mstrb8erJimmyNordonDayleDaysunIndioTechKnow
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    #UnwantedSpinoffs Hoarders n' Tiaras

    • 14
    • FAVS
    Mitchoacanrar_gaclassic21nickkowalski_TimCarroll9Incrediherochillaxmateallisonweinst
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    nickkowalski_hybridlibThomIntagliokuhpuhrudythecutie666ChrisMichelle_RaygenDayMswilkerson036
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    So I've been chatting with this 13yr old online and now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How fucking cool is that for a girl her age?

    • 23
    • FAVS
    Lishivaminority723skin_and_imtnbikerdenisUpToNoGood2DayAwk0TacooMuttFettTRACYFISH2756
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    LishivaBuddah__EyeEatHoleBadSt1nkF1ngerAndyFucterbuttTRACYFISH2756GaragePnkChickDoozer233
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    I once had a cannibal that lived up the street from me. He had a wife and ate kids

    • 25
    • FAVS
    RadicalbeansFunnyTweetstersallmenareidiotsDylanLambrieshangin_outjoefrog1VerifiedDrunkthedailymarker
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    cardenas_418FunnyTweetstershitleriousjoefrog1melfigga3thedailymarkeraurevoirraeeMattKonemann
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    This day in 1983 the US military lost 241 in 1 incident http://t.co/YrjgFiOt #SemperFi You can forget, but just remember from time to time

    • 3
    • FAVS
    KzgunssantamarialisaGagetheFish
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    barbrtevy8rakichupuu6Guardrail23Gilljudymarieburnsrblumelcooperdayffmedik8runsmissynumber3
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    Do you remember when picking between SP/EP/SLP on a VCR was like picking which wire to cut on a bomb?

    • 18
    • FAVS
    MitchoacanTutti_FruitiiWhatsHerFace33SydalneBethsButtmost_impressiveEvangeline_Icetheschmeltz
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    Evangeline_Icetheschmeltz_leeloominaipitythebackseatCharles8246littlebrownjenSchnitzelNGritzlife_of_paul
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    9 months after 21Dec2012 there will be a baby boom. All offspring of idiots

    • 9
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    VerifiedNeenertsh1118GingerDemonessSalty_Languagesantamarialisaall_zeroesHellHathNoFuryypeaceofclay890
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    Tee_Bee_Gee7025VICKY_kenny_Ocrazy_IA_guystoicbunnydistracted_difavstar_poptsh1118shannonxlenox
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    To most xtians the bible is like a software agreement. Most dont read it...just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree"

    • 9
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    tiikafiredancerHippieKatiebigTseattleRainbow_ArkClaspiemartinhatchuelNotGayDalekFringeMagnet
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    MrRopeandHatMarySueTwiteth_missjessibabyharncwemlovecatsbigTseattlehaligweorcchamelore
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    I bet if AT&T and T-Mobile got married the reception would be shit

    • 17
    • FAVS
    YayOrReneeOhSweetCharityTweeetmebadflipthistweet_wangweDarrenTheDude_iamconfusMaxxamillian
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    thebutcher926caddyjimmybigbirdernMaxxamillianfavstar_popmastertononelibertarianeco1melissa5001
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    I dont have bad handwriting...I have my own font

    • 10
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    Tutti_FruitiiElifcelloCelebrityChezalmostheavenlyBloodline31MyBackupNameFemOIFVeteranDarthHammer76
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    ekaoktvndanrotMitchINThomWestsayCHYsscecedollwilsoniChaseHughessammiecrank10BELIZEAN_KISSES
    Psyche2YourEros
  • 13Damage
      Don @13Damage

    ATTENTION FOLLOWERS: If you can understand the epicness of this photo, then I am glad you follow me. RT if you agree http://t.co/ptOZelu3

    • 5
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    rotusbrossumWhoCuppedMyCakedsmitty62desmondalanlivingnBoston
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    TheMikeFrizzshdyshortbussertaurian76BaconeerBullsLawDanTulip310jeffenglesReal_MacD
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@13Damage

@13Damage

OEF/OIF Veteran. Nerd. All my tweets are amalgums of less funny tweets and Reddit.