Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm not saying she is a slut but her blood type is sperm
Apparently in the workplace TeaBagging means something totally different, for me it's ment 2 weeks unpaid suspension
The people that follow me are fucking weirdo's and I wouldn't have it any other way
So today I noticed that Dog Food Lid is Dildo of God backwards - random
I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it
Apparently, she left me a few days ago
Why does my electric toothbrush always seem to taste of fish and have a dead battery?
My son is taking the piss about the football - should I remind him I rammed my dick off his face and jizzed on him - before he was born??
I gave my blind friend a cheese-grater for Christmas, last year. He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
Anyone want to come clubbing with me at the weekend? rules are 10 points if you kill a hooker with it and 5 if you knock her out and shag it
ive been faking Dementia for years, its great i get to shag the wifes sister then shit in the bed and blame it on the dog
ive just been giggling like a Mother Fucker at the phrase Pokey Bum Wank, im such a child
I'm not sure is its my cock that's twitching or if the body isn't actually dead yet
Can't sleep - Clowns will eat me
That awkward moment when you're digging a hole to hide a body and find another body
Girls who can fit both tits in 1 hand are not worth the cumshot
My cock is like a Rubix Cube, the more you play with it the harder it gets
1 in the bum and you wont be a mum, No DM'S (unless you swallow) #StraightEdge