Well, Snooki's pregnant, ORANGE you glad it's not yours!!!

looking like a damn fool on here with 15 followers, hey show some love!!

Don't follow my ass, I don't have a clue where the hell I'm going!

i just read that a truck wrecked in Texas with 23 people in it! 23 People in a pick-up truck, ain't that a country song?

Heading to the mall, I hear Gay-C Penney's is having a restock your closet sale!

if you have to open your car door at the drive thru, go ahead and get the hell out and go in!!

Holly Wood would be a great drag name!

Why you sending me messages? This ain't fucking facebook! Knock it off!

Waited to get naked by the pool when everyone was drunk, so I could blame their vomiting on the alcohol

it had me in a bind, it was like i was being suffocated, wondering was i gonna get out of here, somebody gonna help me! (me trying on spanx)

i'm looking for a job where all that is required of me is to point. nothing more.

what's the point of getting your asshole bleached when you know, for a fact, that you're going to get shit on it later!!!

as a server, old people ask me for water so they can take their pills, i ask to see their pills, you know, see if they got anything good!

I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion, except idiots!!

It's true you can't fix stupid, but you can duct take it's f-ing mouth!

We know Taco Bells not going to support Chik fil-a, not with that flaming hot sauce on the menu

in todays paper, a mugshot of a fat girl arrested for Meth. Must of been Chocolate Meth!

my hubby said he wanted a man cave, i told him the only man cave in this house is between my legs, now get in it!!

The county I live in is a dry county(No alcohol) so we party like it's 1929!!

Would be nice if more Movie Stars hung out down south, cause some of them could use an ass whoopin'