Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Treat her like a princess, and she'll fuck you like a pornstar...
I fill my blow up doll with helium so I still get the thrill of the chase
Angry sex is way better than an angry blow job.
When you star my tweet without a retweet I feel like your ugly fuck buddy, fun to play with, but you dont want your friends find out...
How can I trust you when you keep trying to run away everytime I untie you.
Great sex means you both end up having to sleep in the wet spot.
The best part of having a vagina would be wetting your fingers to turn the pages of a book.
You dont star my tweets anymore...you've found someone else havent you....
My wife asked me if I wanted to help shave her pussy, I thought id do it while she was at work, gotta admit the cat just looks weird now
My wife always changes the subject when I ask her what happened to the batteries I bought last week.
when your pets wont even look you in the eye, you know you probably went to far the night before...
Ok 1 last fucking time
Yes im Australian
No we dont ride kangaroos
Yes beer is a food group
No We hated Steve Irwin
Yes Wolf creek is real
#MyLastWordsBeforeIDie my phone, someone please destroy my phone...
When I see a woman in her 30's with no kids, I automatically assume she likes anal.
my wife thinks the silent treatment annoys me....
I still dont understand why anyone would want to be cured of sex addiction.
Everytime you tweet I picture you naked....
If you ever hear a ninja sneaking up on you, dont worry they arent really a ninja.
Never fuck with a womans mind, its much more fun to play with her body.
Looks dont matter if you know how to suck dick.
Australia.... A little bit of insanity is a good thing