Break my heart, but for the love of god don't break that rubber

It shouldn't be called a "dry spell" if you're wet all the time.

that awkward moment when someone asks you why you have all those bruises

i hate it when someone writes something and doesn't put any periods so you have to keep reading really fast and cant stop doesn't it suck

Man's best friend is not a dog. It's a vagina.... duh..

#iwouldtrade so many lady gagas, Justin biebers, and even Katy Perrys for one jimmy Sullivan #a7xfamily

fuck your taco!

I'm awkward as fuck.

Jesus can walk on water but I can swim under him and grab his ankle so he craps himself.

Make me scream. And I DON'T mean by trying to run me over.

I'm not getting married. I'm going to whore until i'm too fucking wrinkly to get any, and then i'm going to buy 50 cats.

west virginia is basically made of duct tape

I just wanna wake up one morning with the word "Bukakke" tattooed on my forehead.

Isn't it weird when a girl isn't wearing a bra and her nipples are in completely different places?

Hi, I like to see naked ladies.

lol so basically today im a boner kill.

a bowl/vibrator? MIND = BLOWN

Every time I hear Jimmy sing in #Fiction I start tearing up. Every time. #a7xFamily

Singles over 50 shouldn't even be allowed to use the internet

RT if you wont be high tomorrow #fourtwenty