Just once I'd like to hear Obama say "Nigga Please"

I want something.
But I'm a girl so
I don't know what it is.

You have lost your fucking mind if you think I'm getting in a public pool at 9:30 PM. It's 85% pee now.

If I had a choice,
I'd pick whore moans over hormones any day.

My inner child wants to beat the shit out of some adults.

Just ate 6 fun size candy bars.
Maybe 15.
The point is, I still want a hamburger

You know.

We are all going through something to get to something.

Well, only thing to do now is shower and act like I give a shit.

I learned early in life,
Don't fuck with a bitch who uses Aqua Net.

I could sit here and pull your dick all day,
No, really. I got this.

Excuse me while I go collect my 'Mother of the Year' Award.
Watering the lawn while showering the kid.
two birds, one hose.

I'm surrounded by people who I could swear dropped out of kindergarten and get all fucked up at the L-M-N-O-P part of the Alphabet song.

It's a myth that Etiquette and Shit can't be used in the same sentence.

I star fucked your twitter crush for you.
You're Welcome.

we FOUND your Ass From a RT.

Hubs had Leg Braces until he was 6
So now he's Running a Marathon in April
because Beating the Shit out of Cancer
Made him Forrest Gump.

Before twitter (You Sick Fuckers!)
I Never thought stuff Like 'I'll fill my Pussy with soapy Bathwater and Squirt to Rinse the Tub clean.'

A good wife is blind and a lucky husband is deaf.

It's hard to feel whorishly fabulous with my pussy sucking up this lace g-string.

Compliments won't Make her Wet.
It's that Sly smile You use as Your eyes Burn through Her clothes.
Hot stimulus baby, she Feels you.