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Some caterpillars turn into butterflies but most just turn into shitty moths.
Cocaine in the membrane.
THIS IS THE POLICE COME OUT WITH UR HANDS UP
"I don't have any hands"
HOW ABOUT JUST ARMS?
Now I feel bad, let's go guys
5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.
Me: That could mean anything.
5: The dinosaur had a hat.
Now, you...I'd fuck you.
I'd make you whimper for momma
Me as a child would be shocked to learn that we haven't ever had to use "stop, drop, and roll" by now.
Father's Day is a great time to give your father a tie so he can look extra nice at the job he settled for because you were born.
Sorry I dry heaved when you smiled and said 'hello'. I'm allergic to such pleasantries.
There wasn't any happy in this bottle.. Next!
Don't even talk to me if you don't know what a mornay sauce is.
My Irrational Celebrity Hate List:
Pick A Hemsworth
Did I say Jennifer Lawrence?
And if he does bad, then Robo Hillary goes through and that's just not a good look.
Like if he does well, he effectively pushes Hillary out of this Sim Mode she's currently in and inspires the base to vote.
I've moaned your name before...
You just don't know it
When I ask you something that I could Google it's because I like you and want to hear how you explain it
Just take it.. Take another little piece of my arse now baby!
Don't let someone else's stupid happiness get in the way of your depression. EVER.
Someone told me SOA wasn't real. Yes I know. I have never seen a club member look like jax teller and they all have all of their teeth.
Sorry, I don't live in the past.
But you know who does?
And they died.
The moral of the story:
Go see Jurassic World!
Don't worry, Americans. We know our poloticians are assholes, too. They just don't have the money to brag about it.
Clairvoyant, Unabridged Phonetic Dyslexic, Round Trampoline Frame Medallist 1984- http://t.co/15Fpg591hu
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