Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Will is meant to be broken.
Paying taxes is optional if ur kawaii
I keep getting attacked by bats trying to find my bat-cave
Denver is WAY more than a mile high these days! Welcome to the Stoned Age
I'm tired of ATMs laughing at me when I check my balance.
I'm researching butt plugs so I'd stop eating solid foods if I were you.
People always talk to me like I'm listening
Nothing like driving a Kia to show the people you're not self conscientious about having an extremely tiny penis.
Pretty stoked that esurance can do in 7.5 minutes that GEICO takes 15 minutes to do. All for something I'll do 4 times in my life.
I'm the coolest primate.
How can you be so broken, you're not even married yet.
Use your emojination.
There are too many RTs on Twitter. You have a problem. And bad taste. You disgust me.
Jesus brought weed back, right?
Chloe regarding "Bright Eyes" that would be an awesome funeral song. (we're a demented family!)
My portions are out of control.
St00pidfast just called me a twitter friend and I just beat my dick raw.
History was written by the victors, the vanquished took the truth to their graves.
If I could get all The Individualist to step to the Right, That'd be Great. Now, where where was I... http://t.co/QDlaqmxR4f