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There is an energy in the air that is found in a good friend. Breathe it in, and give it back threefold. That's what it's all about.
Me: I look great today
Fluorescent lights: I can fix that.
Roses are red,
Sometimes they're white,
Come a little closer,
I want a bite.
You can be in freezing temperatures and still burn your mouth drinking hot coffee. I didn't know this.
I'm not afraid of bugs.
I'm afraid of my mother.
You guys sleep. I've got the worrying covered for all of us.
"Okay............. well then does anyone have any glue??" -me at a dry wedding
"I'm a Sandy." -- some girls
"I'm a Rizzo." -- other girls
"There weren't enough boys in 8th grade theater so I had to play Eugene." -- me
you know when you start deep cleaning and it just seems to uncover more & more grime? that's what it's like being in a relationship with me
You can break my heart but you can't break Me.
I named each of my kids after famous bridges; Brooklyn, London and Suspension
Obsessed with the patterns in 'Tron'
The problem with wars is they're just too damn profitable.
Hey, boy. Are you an Olympic-caliber sprinter?
Cuz you're gonna need that skill once you get to know me.
Luck is karma based
Just found a quarter inch long white hair growing out of my chin. Don't knock each other over trying to DM me.
Why can't Apple updates take "No" for an answer
Me: Let me have 2 Bloody Mary's and a round for my friends.
Waiter: Sir, you're here by yourself.
Me: I must have forgot to take my meds..
Clairvoyant, Unabridged Phonetic Dyslexic, Round Trampoline Frame Medallist 1984- http://t.co/15Fpg591hu
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