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DRAKE: i eat truffle butter cuz i’m rich
NICKI: i forget what this song is called
LIL WAYNE: i’ll remind u with sex words
Oh, really? Well, coincidentally, I put the "draiser" in "fundraiser."
Those restaurants with the peanut shells on the floor don't prepare you for the real world.
The faggotry of a guy without an accent calling me "mate" knows no bounds
[bear sits in his thinking spot, head between his paws]
The pig: what is it bear?
Winnie the bear: why don't I just fucken eat the lot of u
I couldn't find Waldo but I found the Gay YouPorn.
[me narrating a documentary about bagpipes]
Look at this noisy fucken octopus.
"Tickling the ivories" is a pretty cute way to describe finger-banging the face horns of elephants to make dainty music sounds.
Girl are you the restaurant business cuz you're rude as fuck and you made a mess in the bathroom.
Earth Wind & Fire get on stage to perform, the crowd cheers, somewhere in the crowd water stands, shedding a tear, mumbling "Why not me?"
me: courtrooms confuse me
lawyer: you'll be fine
me: [passes him note during opening statement]
lawyer: [unfolds paper]
["ARE WE ON A BOAT"]
*whale wears submarine as armour and shoots a torpedo*
"hahah this ironman suit is fucking rad"
it's like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife. it's like texting someone a bunch of emotional heartfelt shit and receiving only ":)"
I filed the side of my i-Pod into an i-Knife, any trouble and i-Stab.
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