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Your night wasn't "epic." You got drunk, fell down, & puked in front of your friends. "Epic" is when you play electric guitar on a minotaur.
So is Scotch tape just tape from Scotland? Is that why it's such a fucking piece of useless shit?
New Years Resolution: become a delicious piece of Texas toast through sheer willpower $ get eaten by a hot girl & live in her boobs forever
St Patricks Day is when you pay a premium for cheap boiled food Caucasian peasants ate in their huts 100 years ago.
Wait, #tebowing is praying? I thought it was tricking everyone into thinking you have some kind of potential!
Yeah, autocorrect. That makes perfect sense. Of course I want to put my big duck in her wet puppy.
If you believe Zimmerman would've followed and killed an unarmed white kid, then I guess, yeah, "it's not about race" for you.
One day soon old Coke ads will be the only way kids know polar bears existed. #drownem
When I was a little boy all I wanted to be when I grew up was Tank Girl.
Will Colorado be destroyed by earth or wind next summer? Tune in to find out, on Colorado vs. The Elements!
If you pull put your phone in the theater to livetweet a movie, you're probably a rude, shitty person who should be banned from theaters.
Some people try so hard to be not-racist that it inevitably leads to them saying really racist shit.
I just filled up a stranger's gas tank, so I'm pretty sure I can roofie whoever the fuck I want tonight.
I'll bet the International Women's Day parties in Saudi Arabia are off the fuckin' chaaaain.
they downgraded the solar flare storm from g3 to g1. i'm just glad it isn't, like, a g6.
Girls dying their hair red need a support group too. One just for the transgingered.
filmmaker // streetwear photog // feminist // born sinner, opposite of a winner. angry young traplord wannabe. $$ / bitches. west side 'til i die.