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I LOVE THIS KID: How to wake up a kid - ( Breed- Nirvana ): http://t.co/AgiBccZ1 via @youtube
Maybe Fred Willard misread the #NameYourDickAfterAMovie hash tag as #TakeYourDickToAMovie.
Is this funny or just funny to me cause I'm on DayQuil? Firehea. When dragons get firey diarrhea.
I like this Amy Poehler quote: "No one looks stupid when they're having fun!"
#RelationshipsEndBecause someone suggests going to see Transformers 4 on a date.
Wow, this hashtag #HowToEndUpOnTMZ explains this hastag #WhyThisNationIsInDecline.
Director/Writer/Producer Robert Cohen (The Simpsons, Tropic Thunder)Shares Stories of Breaking Into Hollywood http://t.co/h9xSb9Bo
Info for anyone in #Boston: Families trying to locate loved ones can call 617-635-4500; people with tips can call 1-800-494-TIPS.
Well, I've never eaten at a Chick-fil-A and I think I shall continue that tradition.
Someone at Trader Joes is very pleased with their own wit. http://t.co/TqYgUl9J
In a recent interview, @kimkardashian said she dresses to please her boyfriend, Kanye West. Which explains her new mirror dress.
ATTN TRISTATE! Please text WHERE to 877877 to find out if your polling place has changed due to Hurricane Sandy. #Vote
#GreatBoobs is trending. Glad to see Twitter has its priorities straight.
My goals remain the same as when I was five: to be a mermaid and a writer. I co-created #TVGuideLetterTheater, have a podcast (on iTunes) and work at #Conan.