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  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I may not steal Tweets on Twitter, but you can bet that I say all of your jokes to people offline, and take full fucking credit for them.

    • 318
    • FAVS
    richardpeachytohu_wabohu_BitterBeerFace9snelz04edbritonLupster17Henry_3kdaniellembelle
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyBitterBeerFace9its_possible__snelz04suzapaloozaammealsTHATDANIELGIRLdesibunnypink
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    Girls: want your man to act like a gentleman? Start acting like a lady who deserves a gentleman, instead of a cunt who just expects one.

    • 209
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_CoolGuy6NinerideonUSAdeedragonhunterCanadianMclovinphobophile
    • 85
    • RETWEETS
    its_possible__naughty_dirty_iVishu_GujjuBredwhshakes31471Hobo_SplendidoBazarComedyMikeMbeerm________
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    Pushing an elevator button multiple times doesn't make it come faster; the opposite is true of my cervix, though.

    • 347
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9Russ24Lsaunders54undiquoteAGreaterMonstersnelz04silently_lost
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9AGreaterMonstersnelz04stace2504Henry_3kTHATDANIELGIRLMarcmywords2naughty_dirty_
    angiehateslife____F00tballSux______
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I'm so worried that people might think I'm a racist that I won't even say the word "vinegar" in the vicinity of black people.

    • 170
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyAussieMuzBitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_CoolGuy6NinedeedragonhunterCanadianMclovinphobophile
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    AussieMuzBitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_phobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwhshakes31471Hobo_Splendido
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    The only reason I wear panties is so I have somewhere to set my phone while I'm on the toilet.

    • 166
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9snelz04naughty_dirty_CoolGuy6NinerideonUSAdeedragonhunter
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9snelz04naughty_dirty_cizek_potterCanadianMclovinBellaIceartiVishu_GujjuBredwh
    BruppFWTXrachiecandiceginger26dot2______Iambooradley______
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I prefer realism in my masturbation. So, just like all the guys I fuck, none of my dildos have balls either.

    • 206
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9AGreaterMonstersnelz04naughty_dirty_CoolGuy6NinerideonUSAdeedragonhunter
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9AGreaterMonsterits_possible__naughty_dirty_iVishu_GujjuBredwhHobo_SplendidoJIMBOSWELT
    _Vaginasaurus
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    If you rub OralJel on your cock before you stick it in her mouth, she won't even know it's in there - NINJA BLOWJOB!

    • 162
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_myles_morrisonrideonUSANotBachibawlzragerbarbie
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_CanadianMclovinBredwhBazarComedySquizbotTheWhaleChris____Hurly_Burly
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    If I were a guy, my favourite sound would be that small gasp she makes the first time I slide my entire shaft inside her.

    • 140
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9snelz04naughty_dirty_myles_morrisonvisciousvixxenrideonUSA
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9snelz04naughty_dirty_rideonUSAiVishu_GujjuBredwhBazarComedyLastMermaid__
    topherg7FeistyGnome______
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    Apparently, when someone asks you, "What time do you get off?" "Every chance I get," is not an appropriate answer.

    • 139
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9snelz04rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_Gujju
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    Jedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9snelz04iVishu_GujjuBredwhAndLive2LovecassvinceBazarComedy
    chattchic______Twisty_Monster____
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I bet Vince Russo just watched Raw, sat there, blinked a few times and was like, "Shit."

    • 10
    • FAVS
    VerifiedDrunkfavstar_popFinallyHeSleepsMyriahLeighDaEmeraldKnightGiantRascalThe_LOKITUPjkrambles
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    geraldsaundersmwoodring1heartlessTJ15emperor_domiGesusKriestVivaMattyVegasDBBNickKeiroStarrXXX
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I do so many kegels that only dogs can hear my queefs.

    • 117
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwhLittleJimmy61
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9phobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwhBazarComedyfavstar1000favsSquizbothellyeah63
    _Shizzle__________
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    Normal wedding proposal: He goes down on 1 knee, gives a diamond ring. Ideal proposal: I go down on both knees, you give me a pearl necklace

    • 148
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9snelz04myles_morrisonrideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_Gujju
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_rideonUSAiVishu_GujjuBredwhBazarComedySquizbotfavstar1000favs
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    One day I'm going to tell my kids, "Yes, you can get pregnant from oral but only if he spits it back onto your cunt after you snowball him."

    • 183
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9snelz04naughty_dirty_rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_Gujju
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9naughty_dirty_iVishu_GujjuBredwhnolifecoachHobo_SplendidoBazarComedyxeyednpainless____
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    If a toothless blowjob is called a "gummer" can I start calling anal sex a "bummer"?

    • 99
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyAussieMuzBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwh
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    AussieMuzBitterBeerFace9iVishu_GujjuBredwhNILEstyle_BlindRichiBazarComedySquizbot
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    Pro-Tip: If there's something in a Tweet you have to Google to find out what it is... you probably don't wanna Google it.

    • 102
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyidiosityBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwh
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    Jedi_DaddyiVishu_GujjuBredwhimhalfwaytheresBazarComedySquizbotshishiwakamakuTwistedAndTorn
    TheUnseenMe______
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    YOLO? More like YODA: You'll Obviously Die Alone.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    ictwittiessofiayatid____ChurningTurdum____yeezy_ebooks__ceemrtn85NickCasaliniMrStrictMachineiLL_ugLy
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    JoshridesbikeBryceCarrollCoeyeezy_ebooks__chriscartermilithunicaWhiteRussian_melissa5001______SRbeta__
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    You had me at, "Come sit on my beard."

    • 111
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileBredwhMtnDrewski
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9iVishu_GujjuBredwhBazarComedyfavstar1000favsSquizbotSmokedFringe______ImperfectlyOkay
    SteelFontana
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    If I'm not Tweeting, I'm either sleeping, working or masturbating. Or sleeping at work because I just finished masturbating.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyJedi_DaddyBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinphobophileiVishu_GujjuBredwh
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    BitterBeerFace9rideonUSAiVishu_GujjuBredwhBazarComedySquizbotTheWhaleChris____imalilfrazy
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    I'm not a slut, I just fuck like one.

    • 92
    • FAVS
    richardpeachyBitterBeerFace9rideonUSACanadianMclovinBredwhGiaDolcezzaBazarComedyMikeMbeerm________
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    BazarComedySquizbotTXFloormanSmartBlonde69____xChristina394xPopplersss________TheDunkle10DollarBJs
  • 2ndCitySaint
      Meg$ @2ndCitySaint

    If you ever had sex with Jesus, I bet the morning after would get really awkward after he asked you why you kept calling out his dad's name.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    cyclingfiend74KamRabbitmicetaylMsSugarTitsTwisty_Monster____2luv2luvme21BigMickWolfieShay__
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    nuttyskadorkMissParisParker__Twisty_Monster____ShyButterfly619__jakefozioyo_dabba_dabbafuckmylife2hellSmokeydabear85
@2ndCitySaint

@2ndCitySaint

I'm a chef & a Habs fan. I have a blog I never update: http://pervertextraordinaire.tumblr.com. Sometimes I tweet about pro-wrestling. You've been warned.

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