MERRY XANAXMAS

I AM TOO HUNGOVER FOR BRUNCH #WHITEGIRLPROBLEMS / I AM ALREADY HUNGOVER FROM BRUNCH #BKGIRLPROBLEMS

'I LIKE MY GPS, BUT IT JUST REMINDS ME I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO'

I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM MY NEEDS

COME PARTY DURING MY DJ SET FOR THE @griptapes @hopscotchfest PARTY AT @neptunesparlour WITH @juanhuevos THIS FRIDAY STARTING @ 10PM!

STRIPPING FOR JESUS

DRUNK HORSE RACING: YOU ARE SOBER, THE HORSE IS DRUNK.

LOVE THIS NEW @street_carnage PIECE -- 10 AWESOME THINGS ABOUT SUMMER http://bit.ly/kT0dNV

I'VE NEVER LIKED A GIRL ENOUGH BEFORE TO GIVE HER TWELVE SHARP KNIVES

@psi I AM MAKING YOU A DEAL. LEARN TO RIDE A BIKE. AND I WILL EAT BACON.

@psi MY FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY IS DEATH METAL

THE TIME OF DAY WHERE I STOP GIVING A FUCK AND START LISTENING TO DEATH METAL AT AN OBNOXIOUS VOLUME

NOW THAT YOU FEEL IT, YOU DON'T

WISH I COULD ⌘+Q YA'LL

BOAT DRANK

YES, THAT IS A MINIDISC PLAYER IN MY POCKET. NO, I AM NOT HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

VICE PRESIDENT OF NOUGAT

NOTHING IS GENUINE ANYMORE.

"STEVE JOBS WOULD BE ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE ABOUT THE IPHONE6" - EVERYONE ON TWITTER NEXT YEAR

WE HAVE A PLAN. IT IS CALLED 'SELL DRUGS, MAKE MONEY'