if a lesbian cockblocks another lesbian does that make her a beaver dam?

If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.

To the guy that invented yoga pants for women.. My eyes thank you

alcohol doesnt solve any problems... but neither does milk

Dear Boyfriend, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can. Sincerely, Spiders

If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.

CALM.THE.FUCK.DOWN

Love is being stupid together.

You trying to say Jesus Christ couldn't hit a curveball??

tried to snap a pic at 11:11:11 on 1/11/11... i got 11:11:12 on 1/11/11 oh well.. next time.. oops wait

Kanye West's timeline reminds me of that lonely little kid who sat alone on the school bus

So now we know why some mammals eat their children…

pretty girls' smiles are very dangerous

ah religion... http://t.co/oFvkLfxa

Dear Americans,
Your vs. You're.... FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT!
Thanks.

i dont like drinking alone... so thank god for the voices in my head

It’s not a gang without the cool girl.

Women... You can't live with 'em... and sandwiches don't make themselves.

'testify' derived from a time when men were required to swear on their testicles... politicians should have to do this today

It's incredible how much stuff I can get done when I have other, more important stuff to get done.