@3rdmartini's (Jeremy Fuksa) most faved Tweets...
What a horrible world we live in when we can't call an extended brainstorming session a "concentration camp."
11
Seems to me that "flipping the biscuit" sounds like some sort of euphemism for something that would make this joke funny.
7
Great opening line for a book:
Sure, she was just a "Walgreens cashier", but for one night in July she rocked my world like no other.
Sure, she was just a "Walgreens cashier", but for one night in July she rocked my world like no other.
4
Well, @quinnk, isn’t it just like you to make something about you into something about you.
You are SO needy.
You are SO needy.
3
Eating my lunch in my car in the parking garage makes me feel like I need to be crying.
I know, I'll think about "SuperTrain."
(sniff)
I know, I'll think about "SuperTrain."
(sniff)
3
Just got off an hour long phone call with @hotdogsladies. We've decided that we're going to upgrade your neural firmware.
3
I made up lyrics to the "All Things Considered" theme.
"Oh, my penis is bigger than your forearm."
Howsabout that, Burt Bacharach?
"Oh, my penis is bigger than your forearm."
Howsabout that, Burt Bacharach?
3
So, you're telling me my iPhone 3G isn't going to be able to multitask under iPhone OS 4.0? Well, that's a lame sense of entitlement I have.
3
Cashier: Pink Stuff dressing. How's this taste?
Me: Like a unicorn wrapped in a rainbow Snuggie.
C: ...
M: Oversold it, didn't I?
C: Maybe.
Me: Like a unicorn wrapped in a rainbow Snuggie.
C: ...
M: Oversold it, didn't I?
C: Maybe.
3
Soul Asylum's "Grave Dancer's Union" has caused me to vividly revisualize EVERYTHING about my sophomore year dorm room. Ready to skip class.
2
