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When I'm rich I'm going to buy a condo building and replace it with 68 dive bars
Stages of Twitter grief: OMG!!!; jokes abt dead person; "Don't joke abt dead person!"; Instagram of brunch.
Basically illegal in CA now to end a conversation about rain without saying "Well, we really need it"
Girl next to me on bus just typed "LOL" in a text but did NOT laugh out loud. You're being lied to, Joel.
I haven't seen this many white people upset about maps since Christopher Columbus bumped into America by accident.
Hapa Ramen is now the Indiana of SF restaurants
They don't have a "Million Dollar Listing: San Francisco" because it would just be a shitty 1 bedroom on Gough.
Utah's all like "But if you legalize gay marriage then the next step is polyg....oh wait a minute"
Obama should just announce he's in favor of Ted Cruz so we could see Ted Cruz be against Ted Cruz.
It is the 17th inning. The 3 fans left are crying and eating garbage. Ron Wotus is pitching to a mop wearing a Pirates jersey.
To put that Warriors game into terms non sports fans will understand it's like if Old Yeller got better and won the dog show at the end
Bobby Jindal says the science is unclear about whether it's you're or your
HOT STARTUP IDEA: Check books out of library, charge people $5 to borrow & read them.
Madison Bumgarner getting on phone ordering cake for victory party, arranging airport transportation, getting ready to fly plane home.
Motivational speaker, author of Grow Your Problems Bigger and Do Nothing for Success
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