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I bought really expensive weed in my dream last night...I woke up before I was able to smoke it. What a waste of money!
Trying to figure out why there's a fork in my pocket.
I would not make a good pet because: 1. Don't touch me 2. Don't feed me nasty things & 3. don't throw things and expect me to fetch it.
I swear it sounded like this commercial just said side effects include: loss of appetite and rape..
Does anyone else think "dead body" when they see a full black trash bag on the side of the highway?
Just watched The Ramen Girl... loved it.. #RIPBrittanyMurphy
The people that live in the house behind us always sound like they're burying a dead body..hmmm.
It's either very funny, or super weird that my brother sometimes calls his wife by my name.
Someone needs to take my phone away from me...this damn Draw Something app is worse than crack.
3's good...I'm annoying myself.
I just answered "No!" to every question in the children's song "Do your ears hang low".
Please don't take me seriously. I hate when you do that. NO relation to Fidel.