His characters live on RT @huffingtonpost: Teen dies after playing Diablo 3 for 40 hours straight http://t.co/JAeL8417

if luongo wins a cup before Price, i'll eat every canadiens jersey i own. save this tweet.

For the Canucks to win, luongo can't be their best player

Stairs make boobs even more awesome.

I just figured it out; it's not your drunk tweets that are super funny, it's me being super drunk reading them.

Apparently I have no porn on my computer. What a disappointment.

mind blown how bad the customer experience at #elvispizza #surreybc was

Ladies: if you're not fucking him, someone is.

best way to lose ten lbs in a day? forget your baby somewhere.

Legs make the best scarves

Respect the irish tomorrow. Remember, ordering an Irish car bomb from an Irishman is like ordering a 9/11 shooter from a new Yorker

Of course I do

@cheekster82 what if I screw you over the back of a couch?

who do I know at @globalbc or @cbcvancouver ? Just had the worst CS experience I could never imagine.

#elvispizza phoned me. argued every part of my concern, including my allergy. still wouldn't make it right. #surreybc

Kittens at the pet store are 488$. They know there's free cats everywhere right?

If you use the word "patina" chances are I've already smacked you.

.@walkingdead_amc have you seen the video promo for a fan's #TheWalkingDead birthday cake? So awesome http://t.co/fF58j3y0 @loveyourcake

And there's already people lined up for the new iPad at #metrotown #apple

This is why you work at Quiznos http://t.co/V9bwjKKm