Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The debit card reader at the gas station instructed me to enter my PIN. Then it told me to bend over and grab my ankles.
I RT too much? Talk to the avi, bitches.... Talk to the avi. I don't hear you whining when it's your shit I'm RT'ing.
Guy getting a BJ in the drivers seat says he could steer the car w his hard on. Meh. If he could steer my motorcycle w it I'd be impressed.
Clothing manufacturers should know that the handy snap openings in the crotch area of baby onesies would be welcome on some adult attire.
Why have sporks not rendered spoons and forks extinct? Answer me that, Darwin.
Ok look, slow douche. We're in the left lane. When a moped passes us on the right side, there's a fucking problem! OMFG, move!
Twitter's version of the Golden Rule: Star fuck unto others as you would have others star fuck unto you. But still gotta be good stuff!
How great would it be if you could just throw some water on bitches and they melt away, a la Wizard of Oz?
Could there be a *less* sexy word than "cunnilingus?" It's about as sexy as the word "dentist." Thank goodness for slang!
I'm going in. I'm going to star until I can't star anymore. If I'm not back in an hour, someone call 911.
When I lived in Texarkana, no one wanted to visit me. Now that I live in Vegas, my welcome mat's got holes worn in it. Fuckers.
Groove Is In The Heart. Really? I thought mine was a little lower. But I guess Groove Is In The Crotch isn't as catchy.
When I say, "Assume the position," and some of you automatically know what that position is... I love you.
*sigh* Another hump day come and gone with no humping. What a crock. Wednesday's half-assed attempt to be as popular as Fri Sat or Sun.
What is it about my appearance that says, "I want complete strangers to be chatty w me," and can I get that surgically removed?
I think you misheard me. I said you're a class-A bitch, not a classy bitch. Huge difference, sweetheart.
I've been duped into eating sugar-free candy. Life is over.
Those hugs...the kind where you sink into me, and I melt around you, our eyes close, and time stops...
I usually walk a lot faster, but right now I'm enjoying my view. #nopanties
Love is an addiction. It's as powerful as any drug, or habit, or instinct that has ever existed.
Some people think a girl on a motorcycle is sexy. No argument from me... as long as she's in the front, not on the back.