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I sleep all day and I seethe all night.
My mommas on your lips my mommas on your lips
Quit acting like a gentile. You're embarrassing me.
Three cheers for the RTD
Teaching is too important to be left to politicians: http://batsby.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/those-who-can.html … (via @battsby)
There should be a special place for all the sports fan to go where they can talk about sports freely and stop annoying the rest of us.
I hope no one's name is Moe Lester. Who am I kidding? That would be hilarious.
Lucky for me my commitment issues are preventing me from committing murder right now.
Personally I think kids should stop trick or treating at 13. Any older & it's pathetic unless they're a slutty nurse then who am I to judge.
Happy Halloween, cunts.
Love me or hate me, I really don't care. I'm too self-centered right now to even bother.
Why always vanquishing evil? Evil is such a subjective term. Let's go get them evil doers, whoever they are. Righty-o.
Trich or Treatment!
~Planned Parenthood staff today.. probably
I'm just not sure how we're going to have sex without you touching me... I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME.
I use big words I dont understand just to sound intellectual and photosynthesis!
Late-night twitter is like sitting on a bus bench at 3am, looking down the road for the next tweet to come by. And when it does, it smells.
“Excuse me, is this sheet taken?” - small talk at a KKK meeting.
She had, in her possession, a blouse so powerful it could dismantle the entire patriarchy.