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Remember when the teenage girl from Childs Play 2 was a crazy chick on 90210?
Why are there no mime accounts on Twitter?
There's far too many of you on here. Ye all need to get on a boat or something.
revenge? i'm too lazy. im just going to sit here and let karma mess you up
Of course it’s possible for men and women to be friends without it getting sexual.
My wife is my best friend and she never wants to fuck me
Mental masturbation is my second favorite form of stimulation.
What's the difference between Iggy Azalea and a gun?
I can put a silencer on a gun.
I believe in life after death. After you're dead I'll have a life.
Immediately im like def gonna delete that
Ohh nuts + berries I just remembered that I have pot 👍🆒👌
I don't like to complain about bad tweets because too many of mine qualify.
How much for the Ice Cream Scoop?
Ma'am, that's a Shovel.
I've been getting awesome reviews for Book One of my Trilogy! I am so excited!!
Why does life keep teaching me lessons that I have NO desire to learn?