Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I would walk 500 miles and another 500 miles… but not an inch further.
In heaven everyone is vegan whether they like it or not. You can still chew on the souls of the dead animals as long as you don't swallow.
Piss off historical reenactors by calling their outfits 'period pants'.
My wife is driving 13 hrs each way to spend time with me this wknd because she loves me. Or wants to inspect my cock for lipstick & glitter.
*salmon going upstream*
S1: Shit a bear got Bob!
S2: This is horrible
S3: Why don't we just have sex at home?!
Bob: I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN
I'll always be there for you.......sorta
Tweet your words carefully.
Tweet like your attorney is reading your Tweets.
I want to bitch-slap some of you with the U.S. Constitution.
Your Tweets have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
A Latina's anger is a renewable energy source.
Love is Not A Many-Splenda Thing.
Coffee is my mouthwash.
This is me being nice, asshole!
There are two kinds of men in this world, those that are fluent in me and then there's you.
Latinas register their looks as concealed weapons.
You wouldn't believe the shit memory foam remembers
Your ass is mine. That's what happens when you don't make the payments. Read the small print.
*pushes your belly button, your ass falls off*
I come in peace. Take me to your pharmacist.
Like @9DaysOld’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!