Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I slap your inner child in the face... "Snap out of it!!!"
The 'all day' breakfast is a great concept.
i wonder if any fish have ever seen the stars..
"You take the blue pill, the story en-
*takes both pills*
"You done fucked up forreeaaal.."
*morpheus starts mellltinn..g...*..*.
I don't care how big, just shake that booty now! Shake it. Quake it. Don't fake it. Pancake it. Just shake it. That booty.
-A poem by me
Get yourself coited.
He acts like he's "not into you," because when you text him, "hey," he replies, "STOP COMMUNICATING WITH ME, YOU STRANGE WITCH LIZARD."
Last year for vacation I went to Niagara Falls, it was so depressing. This year I'm going to Niagara Gets Back Up
Does anyone know a massage therapist who specializes in cricks?
Finding a shitty person is easy.
La putada de desenredar los cascos después de fiesta
SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU, I GOT A BATHROBE ON.
By the time we die, we will have spent over 6 years of our lives dreaming things we couldn't remember after we woke up.
Mom says she blames Fruit Roll-Up tongue tattoos for my taste in men
Friday night, gonna get my fucking kicks while my 5 yo still occasionally laughs at my never mind.
"Wow, I'd fuck that guy carrying the 35 lb. bucket of cat litter," I imagined every woman thinking as I left Target tonight.
Ran into a friend of mine with her baby. I held him and he pulled down my blouse in front of the whole restaurant. I better get a free meal!
I'm pretty sure all the Mexican waiters at my local eatery can hand-draw a picture of my boobs.