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"Hey you, yes you, Bitch face!
Dearest Who ever finds my $20 that I lost...spend it on alcohol
it's what I would have wanted
someone says "YOU SUCK!", this is when u reply, "not for free"
Craving coffee, hot wings, a sense of self-worth...
lawd i'm white
The happier you are, the less sleep you require to function in everyday life. Sadness increases the urge to sleep more.
There are enough restaurants in New York City for one person to eat out every night for 54 years and never visit the same place twice.
"In English, how do you ask someone to give you a tightish slap?"
"By adding ish at the end of random words."
If "being an indentured servant" Wasn't the answer for what you want to do with your life...
Don't have cats or kids.
Wtf?! Why am I awake?! It's too early to start my day.
I dreamt of eating Tillamook bacon chesse burgers & dragon sex.
Lady at the oil change place is reading a magazine and I'm like "you think you're better than the rest of us who are staring at our phones?"
"she's changing her name from Kitty to Karen"
You wear the same jacket day after day, no one thinks twice. Wear the same shirt 5 days in a row and people start talking...
a grocery list.... PUT IT ON THE DAMN LIST!
Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, honor, cherish and let her name the children after the TMNT?