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If this emoji ☔️ & this 🌧 mean rain...what is this one for 💦?
Please don't say bedroom things.
I'm reporting more people than Bobby Brady as hall monitor.
No one can read all of this anyway.
If you retweet me, you will lose followers, so you're welcome.
People ruin everything.
Dating tip: pull don't push
I'm going to resign amid allegations of internet bullying
Every day, ISIS posts an estimated 90,000 propaganda messages. Nearly as much as FOX News.
If you glide your game piece during Monopoly instead of enthusiastically tapping each square, I will flip the motherfucking board.
'Twas an existential Tweet.
In case of nostalgia, break glass.
A slutty female bear is called a boar.
Dapper 92-y-o man goes to upscale bar, sits beside young woman, orders martini, smiles at her and says, "So tell me. Do I come here often?"
Pro life murdering confuses me.
I'm stayed up too late reading years old.
What's a screaming skull head doing next to Vladimir Nabokov's shoulder?
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/books/review/in-letters-to-vera-vladimir-nabokov-writes-to-his-wife.html?_r=0 … pic.twitter.com/EAmXMQwGD4
I come in peace. Take me to your pharmacist.
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