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A push-up bra for feelings.
Charged my iPad for 40 mins and all it gave was fucking 11% battery. I want my money back, for the charger.
support your local planned parenthood and go buy some more fetal tissue
Here's that botched #GOPDebate introduction in all its glory
Living strong while everything seems to be going wrong.
I like you. Do you come in blue?
Seriously, what'd you do to your phone after you read my text.. throw it across the ocean?
Put your tits away and pull out a book.
Someday someone will listen to you the same way you listen to your favourite music.
DON'T U WISH UR GIRLFRIEND WAS DEAD INSIDE LIKE ME
I wondered why my cats were such assholes, then I remembered that pets have traits like their owners.
If you think celebrity deaths come in threes, you're not gonna believe how many regular people died today.
Sometimes you just need to say 'enough!' and go charge your phone.
I come in peace. Take me to your pharmacist.
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