@wtfuckfacts What was she going to call it,? "My Breath"

@uberfacts It took awhile before they elected a state Senator that could read.

@whattheffacts What redhead is going to allow you to shove his head into a horse's ass?

@uberfacts I think my Mother has that.

@uberfacts And from the looks of her I bet she spends the same amount on vagisil. #$omeThingsNeverScrubClean

@misskassielyn Really? Like by children or tourists bloods and crips? Who would do something that awful.

@misskassielyn Sheesuz, WTF.

@whattheffacts If you're having sex in Bakersfield there is a better than average chance it is with Satan.

@uberfacts No fucking way that headcase has that many followers. There is not that many people who take Xacto knives to their wrist.

@himynameisseton Normally I would say that is disturbing but I have taken my son to Billy the Kid's grave outside of Ft. Sumner NM.

@verifieddrunk Give me some bourbon and I'll put it in your butt.

@twoadayz Cain was Abel to mow-down the Cardinals line up. #mockheadline

@disalmanac Yo chump! He was born in 1854.

Sometimes you just can't fix stupid.

@lady_deathwish God I wish I was a burrito.

@whattheffacts Well I guess we should be thankful that half of them including @robdelaney are putting them in a gentlemens butt.

@lady_deathwish Not sure who Carly Rae is, but I got a pretty good video of the neighbors window licking son going to town on their pet dog

@verifieddrunk Your mom can show you once I roll off.

@robdelaney Listened to your mentalpodcast from earlier this year, good stuff 140 characters doesn't do justice how I felt. So good stuff.

@verifieddrunk ME, been drinking vodka/crans since Mass.