@johnmoe When you're covered in bees! You're a bee keeper! What do you do? COVERED IN BEES! #BeeHavers

@hamclown TONIGHT, mother@(#)*$#&s. Finally... sheesh.

Walt Disney Concert Hall: Picasso vagina.

@misschelseamae wish you were here... Wearing my black lingerie and everything....

@misschelseamae my only tweets ever are replies to you, by the by.

@misschelseamae I miss my Chels (better nickname pending).

.@misschelseamae "the über long star of David necklace isn't hugely attractive."

@misschelseamae Is your brother in NY OR ARE YOU IN LA???

@grantpa The amt of glee this created caused an uncontrollable burble of giggles. FREEZE TAG IS MY JAM.

I am a cream puff. A stanky, gassy cream puff.

Seriously. No more ice cream. Ever. Sad truth. Stinky, sad truth.

Is it weird I was just talking about this sort of thing? RT @robdelaney: I hope 500 ants don't crawl up my penis when I'm asleep tonight.

@grantpa but I'll always holla atcha.

@kaseyanderson Jay-Z-Z Top

@turbograndma Marley Hits Me #ChrisBrownRomCom

Waiting for boss to get off the phone-spending time reading @grantpa's favorite Tweets. Obviously this is a big day for me.

If I ever get married, my pre-nup is going to contractually guarantee that I get a dog. A proper fucking dog.

Reconciliations. Profit and Loss. Financial Reports. Balance Sheets. Journal Entries. Misc. Account Receivable. Gun to temple.

Guys, I officially have an office. With a key to a door that locks. An office I am about to buy furniture for. This=me happy.

Hey, hey guys? Guys? HARRY POTTER.