Ron Paul, way to set them strait! Our soldiers should be defending our country, not 130 others! #Answer #SCdebate

Everyone has #That1friend they can't get rid of. That's me, and I will fucking stab you if you try to leave me.

Should I go shopping at midnight or chew on some glass?

We live in a society that feels the need to label. Young black men in certain clothes are thugs, women who are... http://t.co/x4rlfHsb

Ron Paul #Answer Hell yeah! Not cutting money to our soldiers! Cut spending over seas! Bring them home! #SCdebate

@FoxNews Can we reinstate the buzzer for Romney talks for like 3 minutes about all kinds of off topic stuff. But avoids the questions.

Rick Santorum #Answer Romney do you think criminals should vote for you? #SCdebate

Don't forget the little people! http://t.co/8BvMkA1C

Somebody should make a cupcake delivery service. I want cupcakes.

I told my toddler I was looking for a thesaurus. He came running up to me with a Tyrannosaurus. Well, close enough. It'll have to do.

I'm having one of those days where I think my butt is trying to talk to me. It's telling me, "Don't you EVER eat Taco Bell, again!!"

I have 2 eyes, a mouth, & a nose, 10 fingers & 10 toes. I am willing to bet we have a few things in common. - My match.com profile.

I just killed 2 birds with 1 stone, it sounded like a good idea at the time but, there were some angry birds watching. SEND HELP!

I haven't seen my phone in 3 days. Maybe it really is a smartphone, and hides from "Mrs. breaks everything" she touches. That'd be me.

Bought a gift in advance for my kid.Hid it in the closet.A clown for $10! Once I clean him up and get all the blood off him. He’ll be a hit.