My five point plan for #debate tweeting:
1. Type what I think
2. Cut it down to 140 characters
3. Edit typos
4. Take too long
5. Erase it

What's a bitcoin? Can I cash in my Sonic the Hedgehog rings to get them? Or my Super Mario coins?

Sometimes when I feel all stressed out, I close my eyes & imagine Luke Wilson telling me: "You've got a freak flag. You just don't fly it."

NAILED IT. MT @thestalwart: The 12 most hilarious names of large corporations. http://t.co/Y4IduZk1

Don't forget to Instagram the shitty view out your bedroom window with things covered in snow this morning.

I went to Barnes and Noble to buy @mrdavehill 's book and they didn't have it, which is probably why they're going out of business.

This picture is amazing. @barackobama: RT if you’re fired up, #ReadyForJoe: http://t.co/1XPmWYgF

Boyfriend just bet me I can't work five "meow"s into dinner with his dad. Challenge accepted.

NYC: "The city that never sleeps" or as I like to call it... "The city that never shuts the hell up long enough for me to sleep"

Still fuckin tweeting from a bb over here like a peasant. #bbtweets

Unless you're bringing pie to the office today for me to eat, don't bring up pi day like it's something we should discuss.

I don't know what any of you are talking about.

I guess you can't expect someone who never took their job seriously as CEO to really take their firing seriously, either- right?

I can't wait for the Supe-BRO-bowl.

This is my first tweet from my iPhone 5... (Which feels so light, I'm not sure if I'm even holding anything or just typing on air)

If you're not using eggs as a vehicle for sriracha, you're doing it wrong.

Don't drop goldfish in my car. This is not a minivan.

This was my favorite today.  http://instagram.com/p/Uo_Q0lN5Dq/ 

#sleej

BREAKING: Teenage girl hacks Andy Lassner's twitter. RT @andylassner: Not thrilled with my physique