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Me: babe, are you jealous? Her: no. Me: are you sure? Her: yes. Me: kiss me. Her: GO KISS THAT WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!!!
Google: "I have everything!" Facebook: "I know everybody!" Internet:"Without me, you all are nothing." Electricity: "Keep talking, bitches."
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive.
"Look at this bitch, eating those fucking crackers like she owns the place!"
THE BEST KINDS OF LAUGHTER:
1. Laughing so hard that your laugh becomes silent.
2. Feeling a 6 pack coming.
3. Tears coming out of ur eyes.
Minor heart attack. RETWEET this.̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨̨.̸̸̨̨if you thought your screen was cracked.
A morning text does not only mean, "Good Morning" It has a silent, loving message that says.. "I think of you when I wake up".
( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ( ㅅ ) ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS NOW MAKE THAT MOTHAFUCKA HAMMERTIME!!!
Happy Veterans Day to all that have served & those currently serving our country. Appreciate the sacrifices made by you & your loved ones!
I instantly smile when I see a text from you, I don't care what's in it. It's amazing to know I crossed your mind even just for a second.
The awkward moment...
when someone says "you two should go out!" and you're like .... I wish
I want a relationship where you can lay with each other & just talk... about anything.
You text him, he doesn't back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.
Dear Santa .. I've been good all year. OK most of the time. Once in a while. Fuck it ill buy my own shit.
That annoying feeling when you're dying to talk to someone, but you refuse to text them first.
Beyonce dated, got married, and THEN got pregnant. I hope you ladies take a pen and a pad and make notes of that.
Dear whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.
I like girls & boobies. Follow me, and receive an egg roll. Business: Ayysian@ymail.com
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