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Reality shows about Alaska
Just prank ordered 20 Meat Lover pizzas to John Travolta's house.
Yelling "Roll Tide" while fucking their cousin
Wishing every week was Shark Week
Why won't any of the World Star Hip Hop Honeys go on a coffee date with me? Would it be too "off-brand"?
Getting Sleeve Tattoos and becoming Chefs
I'm only wearing mesh half-shirts to the airport from here on out. Fuck it.
Dreams are just the casserole made from the leftovers of your daily thoughts so calm the fuck down, potheads and girls who wear feathers.
Been in New Orleans for two days and I've seen probably two dozen dongs and only half a boob. I can't do anything right.
BREAKING: Fitch strips U.K. of AAA rating, downgrades U.K. credit rating to AA+ with stable outlook.