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Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.
Don't forget to pay £2.00 to park somewhere and £3.50 for a coffee but be disgusted by the cost of music today, world.
People called Lloyd need to settle down with the 'L's' and save some for future generations. I've got my eye on you too, Llamas...
A lot more people would go to church if it had free WiFi and also if God was real.
I'm going to the zoo. Your day is irrelephant.
"There are so many different breads, well done" - Jesus (on his return)
If everyday is a gift today was socks.
Curling is my favourite Olympic sport that also looks like the athletes are trying to get a stray cat to eat out of their hand late at night
Robin Williams has gone too soon. It shouldn't take the death of a beautiful soul for men to feel it's ok to talk about depression.It's 2014
Just talking to my cousin about how debilitating and dark a mental break down can be, and he offered me a fucking m&m. 5 year olds are dicks
Rioting for justice is like fucking for virginity.
That moment, when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide like a bird on a thermal. That's my utopia.
Is Morgan Freeman narrating tomorrow?
We've just been confirmed to play the main stage at The Isle Of Wight Festival on Sunday June 15th. I'm ridiculously excited about this.
I put the Aaron in Paronoid
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