i don't get lesbians. i've looked at my own vagina & honestly that thing scares the shit out of me, you dont know what's hiding up in there

i see your skinny jeans and i raise you a rack of sauce drippin BBQ ribs.

my ex was great in bed, unfortunately he took that greatness 2 every stripper bar, whorehouse, alley & backseat he could

i miss my ex sometimes, like when the trash has to be taken out or a spider needs to be killed

duck lips, camel toes, donkey dicks, monkey butts, no wonder we love the zoo so much

My TL is better than Saturday Night Live.

yep, i see a man with a big brain i think, whoa boy could think the shit outta me with that thang...

i'm so crazy my rape whistle just laughs

I hate no one, I fear no person, i am at odds with nobody, i stand in contempt of none, except myself and logic and reasoning.

who do these people at Burger King think they are? Dont they know i'm an Ebay power sell and have over 200 followers on Twitter?

give me a fish i'll cook us dinner, teach me to fish, i'll just get drunk

i am a grown woman and dont like being told what to do, unless i'm wearn stripper shoes and i'm dancing on your pole

i'm freakn stoned. what's your excuse?

Your dick has touched my heart.....proving size does matter.

between all the bacon, nutella, sausage, bologna and oreo references, imma gonna be fat as fuck when Twitter's done with me

there's a couple fuckers on here that so inbred they gave birth to their own parents

Twitter sex, where you leave frustrated and your computer gets the virus.

i likes a man with a big brain, yep

what's this "facebook" everyone keeps talking about is it one of those Lifetime made for tv movies?

xcuse me i got some stalkn ta do now but i'll be back.......