Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Vine works perfectly for my sex tapes because I usually finish within 7 seconds.
Fox News is reporting that Obama caused this tornado in Oklahoma to distract the public's attention from the Benghazi and IRS scandals smh
If you include me in a mass text telling me "Happy Easter", I will literally crucify you.
Obama just lost the "mentally ill" vote saying guns shouldn't be in their hands - which means basically just the whole Republican party.
The Redskins should changed their racist team name to something less offensive like the Washington Foreskins.
No matter what happens in my life, at least I can say I went to one of the best WrestleManias of all time.....................
If Romney wins, I'm overdosing on birth control pills tonight.
Should I take a shit at this Kendrick Lamar concert?
Ayo fuck that man Romney is trying to take away our Sesame Street y'all. :-( #VoteObama
You can only eat so much Totino's pizza without feeling like, "Man, where the fuck is my life going?"
My tweets, when taken as a whole, are really just a long, drawn out suicide note.
To celebrate Independence Day, I will be celebrating my dependence on alcohol.
I am a sick man. I am a wicked man. An unattractive man...