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Some days I just turn to the nearest mountains and shout at the top of my lungs "JOEL CUMMINS"
These 8 ounce Budweisers sure do make my dick look big.
Doing keg stands during Sheffield Garden Walk. Old women shaking their heads disapprovingly.
I've been outside for ten minutes and I've already wanted to punch ten people.
I can be mayor.
There are now 51 Ways to Leave Your Lover.
brb going to watch the movie The Fly.
Does this taco stain on my shirt make me look fat?
Lou Malnati's. All through my body. Blows like a 12 gauge shotty.
Rationalization: 1.5 mile run means I should be allowed to drink 1.5 bottles of wine.
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