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Some days I just turn to the nearest mountains and shout at the top of my lungs "JOEL CUMMINS"
Thankful I'm not Scott Stapp
These 8 ounce Budweisers sure do make my dick look big.
Doing keg stands during Sheffield Garden Walk. Old women shaking their heads disapprovingly.
I'm considering opening a marjiuanasauna. Aromatherapy.
I've been outside for ten minutes and I've already wanted to punch ten people.
Some proper perspective
Thankfully I couldn't hear Pitbull well enough to make out his shitty lyrics.
I can be mayor.
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