Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Dude today," I got mad swagga, keep up wit dat."
Me in response,"I know proper grammar, keep up with that."
If someone tells you that you look like carrot top, you my friend are the ultimate pussy repellent.
Knocked down a wasps nest today at work. Walked (ran) away thinking to myself, "take that, you bitch ass wasps."
Just ate a whole bag of funyuns.. The roof of my mouth feels like I was chewing in razor blades.
Did you yell YOLO when you almost got taken out by that vehicle? No??..shut your dirty whoreish mouth.
Wanna piss me off? Make a women I care about cry, or steal my delicious taco bell. Either or, your shit will get rocked..
I just fell asleep sitting up..I think. At what age can you apply for an AARP membership?
Ya I'm an adult and I'm still gonna call my sleeping attire, "sleepy time pants." problem? Go back to 2nd grade and argue with me about it
Twitter is like high school, without all of the dirty sex and daycares. Ya my high school had an in house daycare. Classy joint
Witnessed a "man" driving a Toyota Yaris hatchback today...
Those quotes are because his man card is pending.
I am an easy going, carefree, heavy equipment mechanic. hipsters and people who say yolo, stay away