@unvirtuousabbey For those that maxed out their credit cards last night in anticipation & realize they have to pay now...we pray to the lord

Now @mandal0re is gonna retweet @nien_nunb's retweet of his tweet, this circular funnel is sure to create a singularity that will destroy us

My only pre-rapture regret is that I didn't pretend to be a wizard and taze people at renaissance fairs while maniacally laughing.

#FollowFriday @madsports8 Cynical, superstitious & not afraid to call out his own teams, the way sports reporting should be (via @ffhelper)

@cavsdan Tweet would have been better in comic-sans. Enjoy the lonely scotch tonight.

@nien_nunb You really only get to know someone when you fap w/ them in a hot tub and make awkward eye contact that you never speak of again

@luke050 @biblealsosays Nope sick kids are fucked, but if you want to win a Super Bowl or an Oscar God is totally in your corner bro.

#HowGreatIsOurGod That 4 out of 10 of his commandments are about how to worship him, not helping humanity. Selfish/Insecure much? #Atheist

@madsports8 Morris said quote "The Rockets don't have a scoring forward." Was that a verbal bitch slap to the 6'9" Luis Scola? lmao

@nien_nunb Yup and Bruno Venus changed his name after the paparazzi got a crotch shot of his vagina last night.

Lulz someone posted this on my timeline on Facebook, creationists are nuttier than a fruit cake haha  http://instagr.am/p/SRGJG6rhQG/ 

Just ordered a mini-Super Saiyan Gohan patch for Gohans service harness as well as a name tag and a Kamehameha tag, he's ready for battle.

It's really simple American Christians, your rights end when the expression of said rights encroach on the basic human rights of others.

#ff @bluelondynskies @ricknovy @gwrthryfel @madsports8 @greeneyedtengu @ericwinkel @worldwidejvb @joeunseen @theladywrites (via @ffhelper)

I know I'm an oreo, but I just don't get how black men find Niki Minaj attractive, she's like a disproportioned fat oompa loompa #SuperBowl

@godisnotrealbro @chrisvernonshow yeah that thing called the census as well as polls show atheism to be growing exponentially.... #trufax

#100ThingsIHate If anyone actually does 100 individual tweets for this #TT in my timeline, one of the 100 things I hate will be you.

@biblealsosays Go to a police dept right now and say Aliens talk to you = 72 hr psyche hold, but if you say God you could be President!!!

Pawlenty has no balls...which in light of recent events you could argue isn't a horrible thing for a politician...

@nien_nunb Come with me if you want to live!....in my pants