Alice, a 15 yr old w/ cancer has "trend on twitter" on her bucket list help her trend globally with an RT #alicebucketlist

Good grammar is a turn-on. Fact. #yourenotyour

Little kids: Every time you kick the back of my airplane seat, a kitten dies. #raiseyodamnkids

I'm on an airplane on 9/11. Everyone is looking at each other like characters in the game "Clue." #InTheLibraryWithTheCandlestick

This happened. And it was amazing. @harleyplays @epicmealtime pic.twitter.com/HZXl4fz3

“@alexalltimelow: Is the man vs food guy dead yet?” My name is Adam,no I'm not & don't tweet shit about "spreading love" if you can't do it

Yup. We all did it. The Sauce Boss @harleyplays from Canada welcomed The Condimental Truth from Brooklyn. #Bacon pic.twitter.com/tMbybkUc

I was going to say that I'm glad I get to live in a world where @harleyplays beard exists, but the truth is, the beard lets us live here.

3+ hr delay, some REALLY rude counter staff & a broken bag.
Delta: Even my worst dates kissed me before they f*cked me.

“@peanutfreemom: Teachers get paid enough. Trust me.”

Sincerely hope every teacher who reads this spits in your ignorant face.

#AwfulMom

Rick Perry would cut the Dept of Education?!?! WTF? SMH... #occupybraincells

“@peanutfreemom: Most of you people must of skipped Grammar School. Lol!”

"Must of?"

Ohhh - I get it now! You're an idiot.

My custom Spurs jerseys/kits/tops etc. (cue hatred from morons...aaaaaand go!)

#COYS
#YIDDO
@spursofficial http://t.co/SGnjt8UW

A great quote about haters from Yale Drama classmate Leslie Elliard: "Small Motherf*ckers Have No Place on My Radar." #damnstraight

“@theribman: Hitler reacts to Carlton Cole leaving West Ham LMFAO  http://youtu.be/5zV8ggnPKwM ”
HILARIOUS!

@sethmeyers have you seen this?!?!

Yup @broxibearwatp got me. Had I any indication it was a prank or that his windups existed I would’ve taken it better. Live & Learn

Spurs Fanboy Overload! Amazing day with @spursofficial players & @newyorkredbulls players. Thanks to Barclay http://t.co/qWyrMiUA

“@xstrology: #Taurus is considered one of the better lovers of the zodiac.” - Very true, but we're the worst plumbers in all of astrology.

@spursofficial @clint_dempsey Love this pic! Can't wait to watch you at the lane! http://t.co/Vb8LjYmc

Thank you for all you do @invisible ! My director filmed 4 U guys & I wore my bracelet til it fell off. Will wear my new one proudly! #Kony