But your not "just brutally honest"...... Your actually an insecure douchebag that points out people's faults to hide your own.

Threw my 10 year old out of the house today after she asked me "Daddy, who's @saraespivey ?" And they say private schools all good n shit

Eating this chocolate bunny thinking of you: It's really cute, really tasty and hollow like your soul.

Ya, I'm Mexican. But not pushing my 11year old in a stroller Mexican. ....

@lexipollock Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! All the best were born today.....

@va_ginamagana @audipollock Couldn't agree with you more. Baddest chick on twitter...... @audipollock

@ginaamagana @audipollock Hope you two are having fun your first day back to school. Love you

@thatreynoldsboy @saraespivey Dude, I followed her just because of her name. Turns out she fuckin hilarious. Good Form sir. Good Form

@radtoria for President!

My Twitter crush still only exists in my incredibly graphic imagination..... or maybe it's @saraespivey God I suck at secrets.....

@elliottchantel me too and I would too. Love you Audi..... @audipollock

I could care less about RTs or stars..... I'm just here for the booze

@dictatorhitler I'm serious man. Give it to @ginamagana & @audipollock or I'll shove in your own goddamn oven.... Please

@dictatorhitler please dedicate it to @ginamagana and @audipollock they're your biggest fans.....

This tweet has been recorded in front of a live studio audience

If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you....... I'd start thinking about you

Today @ruggedlymansome gets the Father Finger blessing and a good form award for the funniest TL This week. Good Form sir..... Good Form

@05professor It's needed to 'feed' you communion my son.....

Her DM: is your name a typo or are you just sick? Me: (in my head) Bitch who said you could be on Twitter?

@seanincypress I'm not a "tree hugger" either, but an Oleander bush? I'll hug the fuck outta that shit! and ya, oxygen.......