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LOL at the Star Trek trailer where they say "We won't fit!" hehehe
Hey cellphone commercials, no one actually sits around bragging about how their phone is better than their friend's phone
A fire drill evacuation is the absolute worst time to develop a wedgie
It's nice to be more attractive than Kim Kardashian, if only for a few months.
It was a really good idea to use Comic Sans so I can take this fire safety video seriously
Not sure why the floor warden bothered saving that douchebag who wouldn't take the stairs in this fire safety video
Sometimes it takes me a good 15 seconds to remember what month it is. The implications of this are frightening.
No, I didn't "like" your Facebook post. Because I wanted to hurt you.
Just go anywhere, babies, sheesh
Is "cat commercial cat-wrangler" an actual job because I'd want that
No overtly pervy @ replies to that last one, I'm proud of you guys
Holy crap, what happened to the other half of Kathy Najimy?!
I'm a storyboard artist on Family Guy. My tweets are probably mostly about cats. I want to hug all the cats.