Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Jagermeister is German for "show me what you ate"
In my experience.
A unicorn dies every time someone tweets a horoscope.
You dead people gotta stop voting
Even SpongeBob has a job. Put down the bong and apply yourself.
I will only stalk you until we have sex.
Then I won't return your calls.
Ooh baby. Let me motorboat & tittyfuck your A cups.
Shart: a fart that was actually shitty.
Twart: a tweet you thought was good but was actually shitty.
Days that end in Y
A sex offender registry, but for women that don't do blowjobs.
You bought that shirt to show off boobies to cute young guys. Stop bitching when dirty old men look too. Some of us were cute & young once.
A kid with a lisp doing drugs? That's methed up.
You reported someone as spam because they offended you? & they weren't advertising anything?
Feel better now, fucking sensitive genius?
It's cute how you wear a shirt to show cleavage & act upset when we leer
5 years of Spanish classes didn't get me laid by one Mexican chick.
Estoy llamando caca de toro.
I need friends with just that one benefit
China plans to send its first woman into outer space.
No plans to bring her back. Population control policy.