If I said half the shit in real life that I typed on Twitter, my family would have me fucking committed. #ThePowerofStrangers

So I had to explain what teabagging was to my 12 year old when his dead Master Chief was getting face fucked. #Itsthespeciallittlemoments

TGIF guys and gals.

#BadPornTitles Debbie doesn't.

Taquitos, how I love thee.

#FF @debpeanut @lafuzzynoir @wheresmystarr @doublerainbow97 @tinkbl67 @kellybawston @kelodymelody @elmstreetwired @fuckimaunicorn

This isn't 18th century America anymore. We don't need guns. The British aren't coming. They wouldn't want us anyways.

#FF @baskcm @grendelzero @miss_d3vi0us @pandasaurasrex @alleysiloe @jasonlacanfora @cam_canada1 @codese7en @wallpapermaker @tbaby_84

I work customer service, but I really don't like people. I just act like I really do. :)

Corny alert - I can't wait to go home and hug my boys. #NeedaHug

#FF @life_of_isis @missmayn @tinkbl67 @shana_ps3whore @love_hopepeace @lafuzzynoir @darkfalz01 @sixfootginger @alphanano @brutalbird

#FF @rachyy23 @baskcm @jessicaerina_ (kicking ass and taking names) @sixfootginger @itzfear_d @obamaspajamas @alphatwat @cayk @tinkbl67

#FF @tinkbl67 @tyrone_hawk @wheresmystarr @angryfacing @spicysweet84 @mooseonabender @faperture @chumprock @carlyspade @musingmanna

#FF! @clairejeepchick @themidnitefaery @almosice210 @love_hopepeace @xgearheadmomx @tbaby_84 @nemeroth_ @baskcm @tinkbl67 @calreid ...

"Is America safer after 9/11?" I know we're a helluva lot more annoying.

You ever wanna just grab one of your facebook friends and shake the shit out of them for being so fucking stupid?

#FF @xgearheadmomx @millie_andretti @fearxiv @realprincesskim @stephvelander @nitapink @passthemstickss @vitaminamy @ofmitesandmen

#FF @smelli_melly @nematographer @brutalbird @xladyxtonettex @richeisen @tigersgoroooar @tinkbl67 @cayk @sixfootginger @harpyqueen

After a few minutes she should stop breathing. Genius! RT @kidlmao: If you're fighting and she starts to cry, shut up and hold her tight.

Nothing like having an inconsiderate brother for a roommate.