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@Aimee_B_Loved's (Aimee B) most faved Tweets...
Aimee_B_Loved
Most girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

I'm made of liquor and wit and SO full of shit.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I'm pretty sure "No strings attached" is guy code for "I'm emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat!"
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
The only guys who like girls with brains are zombies.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I will henceforth refer to adjusting my boobs as "setting phasers to stun."
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
Favrd will be back. Probably playing for the Jets.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I'm still pulling for Ann Coulter to win the Nobel Piece of Shit Prize.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
Black Friday shopping? No thank you. If I wanted to hang out with that many assholes, I'd join the Republican Party.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
When my ex-boyfriend calls me "the one who got away," it makes me worry about the ones who didn't get away. And where they may be buried.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I sure wish I would've remembered that idiom before I tried fighting fire with kittens.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I'm just going to assume that any blank spots on Google Maps is a velociraptor hunting ground.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I have such a headache. Now I know how Paris Hilton feels when she accidentally grabs a book without pictures.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
My mom's phone volume is set to Samuel L. Jackson.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
U.S. presidents in character map form: ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☻
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
One day I hope to meet a man who's as into me as my hand is.

What?
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
I know I'm not a cougar yet but I'm well on my way. I'm pre-cougescent.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
Tonight, I'll be visited by three spirits: schnapps, brandy and rum.
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee_B_Loved
Sex should be like the dictionary: I comes before U.
@Aimee_B_Loved
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