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  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Most girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

    I'm made of liquor and wit and SO full of shit.

    • 658
    • FAVS
    cc1989badkitty_hoopahoepJaySuchIm_TriciaBetterOffJenJaccTrippafacingafrica
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    used_songsomphtelibagentjimjuicy376HausOf_BadKidsExpensiveGuyFeaAlmircheezy_sneezer
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    I'm pretty sure "No strings attached" is guy code for "I'm emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat!"

    • 606
    • FAVS
    hoopahoepMorganJ7JaySuchIm_TriciaJaccTrippaCJRoberts_DMMSteepFrugutGrumdybump
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    TonnyHatterunaveragejenRachieVPACuffeStuffDefying_Sanityimkaatesuperciliouscharlesjorlando
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    So Bin Laden was "buried at sea"? You know who else was dumped in the ocean? Megatron.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    rollintyleredsonpaulbryanreese_gabekelley__lomallamapocketfulofgeekMiss_AtiLiving140
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    YourFirstEnemygthall1SALEM_SAEEDRevolutionJPGRrollintylercbetts33Merna_PeteranjeLyto
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Oh, Kanye. You are the turducken of the music world. A gifted artist stuffed in a crazy person stuffed in a total douchebag.

    • 194
    • FAVS
    apodixisMac_Encheezegeriaynphylhrmnixwhatabouterin__MissKristinaKallilaura_grace
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    mermaid_tale__________lakelineJermLloydMissKristinaballpkfrankRumbleDolllBruceRomeycybermango
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.

    • 297
    • FAVS
    laney_maxwellSSFantasticIm_TriciaHalfmo_rockslupe_deluxeMattTheMedicdreamersawakeKimpulses
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    BetterOffJendrake_pjoshuasebastienIamJamieGRockSquashVexPixPhilophrosynezombot
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Dear Congress: Before you shout "baby killer", remember that 5,378 babies have been killed fighting in Afghanistan/Iraq.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    badkitty_DavidKlein5vonbunnieSacamanoBsayotheJoeBizdrake_psammynitro
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    dutchguy22saccaPhilVillarrealthebradkingSaving_Sanitycandicetullisdenny111PizzaKarin
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    The only guys who like girls with brains are zombies.

    • 266
    • FAVS
    llvvzzvaleriapiccohoopahoepIm_TriciaMescalinaaCJRoberts_DMMSteepFrugutDavidRayDog
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    this1chickSirken3CuffeStuffChloeepsylverrat
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Holy crap! I forgot to have coffee today! What else did I forget? WHERE IS MY BABY?!? Wait, do I have one of those? DO I HAVE A BABY?!?

    • 249
    • FAVS
    febrezusBedheadBunnyLoveMeAsIAm1DiscourtSpicyGeekGirlStripTheGirlhoopahoepCJRoberts_DMM
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    ChicknMcNiggletSariahRodneyhoopahoepStealthKitty00favstar50vivmondoDizzblndfavstar100
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    I will henceforth refer to adjusting my boobs as "setting phasers to stun."

    • 248
    • FAVS
    Im_TriciaTheiHEARTbeerCJRoberts_DMMSteepFrugutMcAtomsSpacemanQuispMaggiDearDJSLEAZY
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    santhonythomasphilgearjimethnfavstar50Xpinkrangermpj5781Montaigne26mrincarnate
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Michelle Duggar is pregnant again? Forget Mexico. We should build a fence between her vag and the real world.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    Nodelusions916ESliffjenaramirezLetsGo2TheBeachSnapsticks07Westbound111neruda1968caroljloomis
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    chrisssssyppinkforest26MaryTurquoiseDDubshorty_nv82MaddieSLSJenCarroll01ComedyNurdcheerfullblonde
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Sometimes I drive between lanes and pretend my car is Pacman gobbling up the dashed lines.

    • 233
    • FAVS
    Weston711BtotheDhoopahoepJaySuchIm_TriciaTheiHEARTbeerCJRoberts_DMMMeatPants
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    Weston711Kare4567theEmilyLaurenTattooHooligangqinictfavstar50Introspektualpaulepps
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    I like how babies always look drunk. Even after only one beer.

    • 208
    • FAVS
    TheRayRaycacaptainfuckitcbflapodixishoopahoepMeatPantskandikisses1996Heat6EL1EV3R
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    M_DesoRobertHoffman4thecourtyScott_DiazTianksScottWozniakElliJondiegofnu
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Favrd will be back. Probably playing for the Jets.

    • 215
    • FAVS
    stormtraintheJoeBizGringoQuixote________MyOtherTweetdarkdraggonOutOfTheBrewQuiteUnwell____FlatChestBarbie
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    favstar50favstar100matt_garberabrad45epogueTheOpieLeftsider
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    "He was a different Mitt Romney for the last 15 min. of the #debate"? He's been a different Mitt Romney every 15 min. his entire campaign.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    agnez_merep2016Juan_WinanssarkastickuntAAstarr1NikiBoyerOhhkayylanicole_stoenner
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    PCGashnevertelldoe1Shonuff1ELFVIPShaWolJuan_WinansSexyChocUneasyPink__SeppoSukka
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    Black Friday shopping? No thank you. If I wanted to hang out with that many assholes, I'd join the Republican Party.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    McAtomsSnorkelPopmessofapersontheJoeBizWhatThaFudge__linanneblackMyOtherTweetbmerikal
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    santhonythomaskittytwitydelightfulmessMiss_Solstardavidisnotrightazureacademiastephybaby1024chaoticneurotic
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    I'm still pulling for Ann Coulter to win the Nobel Piece of Shit Prize.

    • 206
    • FAVS
    BtotheDderekasaurustheJoeBizbllixlinanneblackbmerikalSEAempiredarkdraggon
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    GUYS! I FOUND OUT HOW TO MAKE A SHAMROCK SHAKE! It's half vanilla milkshake, half peppermint schnapps and half where did my pants go?

    • 179
    • FAVS
    TheiHEARTbeerprettyunsureDJSLEAZYderekasauruswortsportortsammynitroMyOtherTweetpaperbits
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    ardeth78EatCrowPienathan_johnsVelmacharmedimsure__MRC58FairlyOddMotherB3ckyJ
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    I bet Take Your Child To Work Day is really awkward at Planned Parenthood.

    • 171
    • FAVS
    zhemzhemlodelaroDJSLEAZYellikanSacamanoBderekasaurusJoel_Marcussammynitro
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    WetOREOTHRUSTW0RTHYFlameSearedkitzarinanoahrothdonbcivilmstrobelmwpher
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    When my ex-boyfriend calls me "the one who got away," it makes me worry about the ones who didn't get away. And where they may be buried.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    hoopahoepp3ceciljoederekasaurusvaltwiggyJoel_MarcustheJoeBizGringoQuixote________
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    chas50
  • Aimee_B_Loved
      Aimee B @Aimee_B_Loved

    U.S. presidents in character map form: ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☻

    • 184
    • FAVS
    KuraFireelizabitebisforpianounstatusfactoryMeatPantsMadRedTurtleMickSqueakCariPercy
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    byebyedragonflyMadRedTurtlebgirl0815LeePerryFred1788_zombotHalfBadIQankushnarula
@Aimee_B_Loved

@Aimee_B_Loved

I'm a ray of sunshine... causing cancer and starting fires.