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I can't express how much I hate the small talk involved in getting a haircut.
Anytime someone says "Billion" they say, "With a B." Have people been spelling Billion with other letters? Seems pretty straightforward.
Honestly, I don't want to do anything for "Shits." "Giggles" maybe but not Shits.
Hey, guy who says, "Everyone at work tells me I should be a comedian." They are wrong.
I'm still waiting for one of those "Jokes that write themselves."
Shitty Comedy Club: We need your avails.
Me: I'm good.
SCC: Will you send them?
Me: No. I'm good.
SCC: So, that's it?
Me: Yes! See ya!
"Young Jeezy" was arrested in a concert shooting probe. If you use the moniker "Young" and are over 12, odds are you will go to jail.
"Whore" is on TV. Tough movie to see in a theater. Go to box office and say to the girl, "Whore." She says, "Scumbag." Could go on forever.
I want to hear a comic say, "I believe pot should be legal" and the crowd remains silent. He then stands there not knowing what to do.
Thanks to Valet Parking Guy for moving my seat adjustments so he could drive 15 feet. Also changed radio station? Really? Not a Stern fan?
Professional Comedian. Author. My book, How About a Hand for the Last Guy is available at http://amazon.com
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