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If Christopher Maloney was a food product he'd be spam
The amount of girls who think their deflated nappy arses can pull off jean hot pants is actually shocking.
Christopher Maloney was a dinner lady at my school
I am 98% certain that if you smell Chistopher Maloney it's like pine tree air freshener mixed with cold pork.
'If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.' - Hitler
Girl in front of me on the bus has a tattoo on the back of her neck that says 'carp diem' ahaha carp
Internet Explorer HQ: 'we need a hip campaign to reinvent the lame image.' *45yr old exec plays shitty dubstep song* *the room applauds*
nothing says I'm a virgin like playing ultimate frisbee outside the library
🎶🎶Tuppence, tuppence... tuppence a bag 🎶🎶
Studied English Lit for 3 yrs now and I can basically confirm that 90% of poetry discourse is written by autistic bullshitting nerds
A real life emo just walked past me wtf I thought they died out in 2008
A good way to let people know that your life is going badly is to multicolour dye your hair