Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
#ReplaceBandNamesWithTits Stay classy, Twitter. *raises glass*
You eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. Always 28. If you are about to die and you have only eaten 3, then 25 spiders arrive all at once.
Dear England, who's full of convicts now? Yours truly, Australia.
They shouldn't have tried to calm Deb down, they should have just locked in her in the fridge and gotten on with things. #masterchef
Dear Nice Guys™, taking a drunk woman home and not raping her isn’t “nice”. It’s meeting the minimum standards of being a decent human being
The GOP candidates are walking endorsements for mental health care and education funding. #GOPDebate
I would totally watch Crabb24. #Hamsterwheel
Amy Poehler would make a great Ann Romney.
The fact that Deb is still in the competition and Amina isn't is downright insulting. #masterchef
Apparently today is International Kissing Day. Won't somebody think of the single people?!
The more I hear Christians complain that having two fathers is unnatural, the more I laugh. You know who else had two father? Jesus.
#HowToMakeADykeHappy The same way you gp about making anyone else happy. Last time I checked lesbians were people too.
BRB getting RUIZ tattoed across my knuckles.
If Telstra were a person, I would bludgeon them repeatedly with a brick.
The third rule of Fight Club is to have fun and try your best.