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Do you ever just feel like the Carnie Wilson of your office?
FUCK OFF MOM, I'm only single because my husband was an abortion and you know that we've talked about that
Serious question about the English language: we park on a driveway yet we drive into the ocean because what the fuck is life tho really.
Mute child finally speaks, tells parents "my wife," reveals Sacha Baron Cohen tattoo
Mute child finally speaks, tells parents he's a "freak to the core", reveals lil kim tattoo
When I die plz quote my fave line from my girl "he can't see without his khakis" so my mom thinks I wore the skort she sent me.
Don't read my tweets they're secrets.
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