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Guys that put their wallet in the front pocket of their jeans are Communist.
At this point, getting mad about the #Indians losing is like getting mad that your retarded son got a D on his report card.
Ask your sister! RT @robkardashian How can a woman who is so busy trying to start her own career have time to be with so many dudes?
@coltmccoy did you know you have a sandwich named after you? http://lockerz.com/s/112892449
An inch of snow on the ground and people in Cleveland are driving around like they are Stevie Wonder getting road head from Helen Keller.
Worst groups (in order from awful to most awful):
5. PETA
4. KKK
3. Westboro Baptist Church
2. Al-Qaeda
1. Team Breezy
"You just got ROYALLY FUCKED," Prince Harry stated, strolling naked over to his dresser. "Here's twenty Pounds, call yourself a cab."
Did any Browns fans ever consider that Chip Kelly is still at lunch with PHI bc he's fat and can't stop eating? #PositiveBrownsTweet
Jimmy Haslam is leading a group of investors that includes Big Chuck, Little John, SuperPimp, and the Norton Furniture Guy to buy the Browns
There's a special spot in Hell for people who ask celebs for a RT on their birthday.
If you have a #freejahar tag on your timeline, I sincerely hope you die.
A girls attractiveness is all about how they present themselves. A subpar looking girl is attractive if she handles herself well.
Nothing confuses a hot chick more than meeting a guy that has no interest in fucking them.
I hope the #Browns are just interviewing Lombardi to satisfy the Millen Rule. The Millen Rule requires every team to interview one moron.
Perfect RT @mcdonaldscorp We salute the courage of Ohio kidnap victims & respect their privacy. Way to go Charles Ramsey- we'll be in touch.
He is the best thing to ever happen to the Internet. -USA Today Genius, trendsetting, and a visionary are all words that describe Alicks. -Forbes
