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What doesn't kill you makes you drink
Dear women: if you ever find yourself wondering if you're in an abusive relationship, you are definitely in one.
You know that moment when you realize that everybody is just a terrible person walking around trying to be less terrible and mostly failing
Easiest way to spot white people in clubs: they scream when journey comes on
Pro tip: don't change your wifi password when you're drunk
You know when you're wearing white jeans but you never really wear those so you mistake them for a napkin...
There comes a point in every young woman's life where "Kiss my ass" is no longer a threat...
Life is easier as an alcoholic
Haha you think I can afford to use a grocery cart?
Been watchin a dude pick his nose at this bar for a whole 9 minutes. I wonder what he has up there
Very tired of stupid boys
Y'all all are the worst and u know it
Sorry not sorry 4 friendzoning
I think I'm gonna start pickling things and making jam and kimchi and basically anything I can keep in a mason jar for a long time.
I think it's time for Americans to realize that Trump is SERIOUSLY dangerous. Like, third reich dangerous. I'm actually really frightened.
So people realize that The Warehouse is just Hipster Hooters, right?
Stone age lover
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