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What doesn't kill you makes you drink
Dear women: if you ever find yourself wondering if you're in an abusive relationship, you are definitely in one.
Easiest way to spot white people in clubs: they scream when journey comes on
Pro tip: don't change your wifi password when you're drunk
Life is easier as an alcoholic
Haha you think I can afford to use a grocery cart?
Been watchin a dude pick his nose at this bar for a whole 9 minutes. I wonder what he has up there
Very tired of stupid boys
Y'all all are the worst and u know it
Sorry not sorry 4 friendzoning
So people realize that The Warehouse is just Hipster Hooters, right?
Art school is so fucked up you guys!!!!! Please spend your money on anything else.
My husband bought me kool-aid jammers because I'm sick and he's a hero
Ever been so happy you become terrified? Yeah, that's a thing.
Bars are all just potential social experiments
When the music in your headphones becomes the soundtrack to drunk couples fighting on the bus
I want to punch 99% of the world right in the face.
Absinthe will make you wake up with a couple bloody knuckles, missing shoes, feelings of shame and guilt, and no memory.
Stone age lover
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