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What doesn't kill you makes you drink
Pro tip: don't change your wifi password when you're drunk
GUYS I FOUND A BACHELOR SUITE AND IT'S ALL MINE 💃💃💃💃💃
Awkward moment when you realize you have nothing to live for
Guys guys guys I'm 2 secs away from passing out because of high qual absinthe plz plz help
Sorry not sorry 4 friendzoning
My kindness is not weakness or flirtation
Tapping into your sober mind when you're wasted is like tapping into that frozen shit that gets stuck to the sides of your freezer
Lol wake me up when a guy wants to be just friends
Been watching this guy try to convince his girlfriend to go down this playground slide for like 15 minutes
I could blow the lid off this video art project or I could blow the lid off this bottle of wine and not do the video thing
You know what if you want brunch then maybe get the fuck out of bed before 2pm instead of yelling at me?????
The ironic thing about art school is it makes you question how relevant art really is
I go great lengths for practical jokes
Since I started working full time as a server I've been having extremely violent dreams of choking people out and ripping peoples faces off.
You know when the bartender gives you a free shot and you rly don't wanna take it but you look like a huge ass if I don't so you do
"u gotta work bitch" - me to myself
OKAYYYYYYY guy outside, WE GET IT, You have a motorcycle.
Never seen so many jean shorts
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