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Life is easier as an alcoholic
What doesn't kill you makes you drink
Pro tip: don't change your wifi password when you're drunk
Very tired of stupid boys
GUYS I FOUND A BACHELOR SUITE AND IT'S ALL MINE 💃💃💃💃💃
I would literally marry anyone who brought me spaghetti right now
Pro tip: never lend your lighter to a dumb bitch sitting at your bar because she will pretend she lost it somehow
Still very drunk
Awkward moment when you realize you have nothing to live for
Guys guys guys I'm 2 secs away from passing out because of high qual absinthe plz plz help
Sorry not sorry 4 friendzoning
My kindness is not weakness or flirtation
Tapping into your sober mind when you're wasted is like tapping into that frozen shit that gets stuck to the sides of your freezer
Lol wake me up when a guy wants to be just friends
Been watching this guy try to convince his girlfriend to go down this playground slide for like 15 minutes
I could blow the lid off this video art project or I could blow the lid off this bottle of wine and not do the video thing
You know what if you want brunch then maybe get the fuck out of bed before 2pm instead of yelling at me?????
The ironic thing about art school is it makes you question how relevant art really is
Bachelor suite problems: getting drunk and knocking down your room divider
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