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Life is easier as an alcoholic
What doesn't kill you makes you drink
Pro tip: don't change your wifi password when you're drunk
Very tired of stupid boys
I officially feel uncool for not doing drugs :(
Absinthe will make you wake up with a couple bloody knuckles, missing shoes, feelings of shame and guilt, and no memory.
Shout out to the very, very loud bros trying to buy shrooms from 3 hippy girls on commercial drive right outside my window
GUYS I FOUND A BACHELOR SUITE AND IT'S ALL MINE 💃💃💃💃💃
I'd like to thank my mother for naming me weird so creeps can't find me on Facebook so easily. Thanks mom.
I wonder if there's inspirational quotes written all over the stalls in men's bathrooms too
Woah you guys vanilla coke is so not overrated
I see its gonna be an elbow crease sweat kind of day
I would literally marry anyone who brought me spaghetti right now
Pro tip: never lend your lighter to a dumb bitch sitting at your bar because she will pretend she lost it somehow
Still very drunk
Awkward moment when you realize you have nothing to live for
Guys guys guys I'm 2 secs away from passing out because of high qual absinthe plz plz help
Sorry not sorry 4 friendzoning
Stone age love
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