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Even duck lips won't help you.
I'll wash my balls, just so I won't have to smell them.
Anybody want to buy my teenager a car? It'll be awesome.
Her: Why can't I just drive your truck?
Me: You've hit 5 fences in the past 2 months with your car. You NEVER get to drive my truck.
She followed because of the beard ... she stayed because I didn't just slap a dick pic in her DM's.
Take notes, dumbasses.
I know I'm a sexy motherfucker. You don't have to tell me... much.
There's no crying in gymnastics!
Walk it off, motherfucker .... WALK IT OFF!
Don't worry. I don't get much creepier without trying harder.
In my defense, I did put a shirt on to go out to eat. But otherwise, I've been topless all day *wink*
Know what I pray for? You to shut the fuck up and get undressed.
The problem with today's youth is the inability to think logically through to the very end. Of course, they don't teach thinking in schools.
I don't mind if your political leanings are more liberal or conservative - but, you gotta make it make fucking sense. Don't sound stupid.
Just for the record, requiring a voter to have a photo ID puts voter integrity BACK into place.
I have only seen a few of you face-to-face. So, don't assume I subtweet anybody.
I'd jack my truck up, but my dick isn't that small.
Thanks for the selfie. But, I still haven't seen enough of you to tell if I'll like you.
I'm a huge fan of legs wrapped around my head.
Sadly, the most authentic Mexican food I've had outside of Texas was in Idaho.
Survival Rule: If it looks like it can eat you, just assume it will. https://favstar.fm/users/AllInFunTx
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