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Dear Mr President,
The Middle East isn't worth a World War.
Our High Prophet Marty already told us that the Cubs would be winners this year.
I try to stay to myself, but then you say something stupid.
Nothing says "I love you" like handcuffs... Right, officer?
Driving to work.... A contact sport.
I didn't ASK for greatness. It was handed to me.
If by "pussy" you mean "breakfast for dinner", I totally just ate some pussy.
Because country music has, apparently, gone to total shit, today brought to you by The Casey Donahew Band.
What the fuck happened to country music!?
My 10yo started the dishwasher without putting the dishes in.
And, other reasons I think I'm wasting money for allowances.
It's not just me, is it? I mean, Blake Lively isn't that good looking, is she?
Didn't eat anything at the company pot luck... Didn't get the flu like everyone else at the company pot luck.
You're somewhat good looking. Wanna go out?
Her: Ugh! Why do all men stare at me like some kind of object?!
Me: Because, we all want to fuck you.
I've never met anyone "worth the drama".
She uses so many filters that she doesn't even appear human.
Some of you bitch like you get paid for it.
Some of you whine exactly the same.
Maybe she doesn't want to touch your winkie.
Fuck you all. That was funny!
Just a dude doing stuff... Like, moving along... RAWR
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