Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
We should let the guy who named "platypus" name some more stuff.
Props to zombies for wanting a girl for her brains and not her body.
All the good Liam Neeson jokes are Taken.
When I arrived at my friend's house, I thought it would be funny to not text him but instead knock on the door like our ancestors did.
"Fuck it." - Guy who named the orange
It's not socially acceptable to blow a french kiss at someone, apparently.
Shia LaBeouf sounds like something a french person would say after a rotten fart.
There's no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
The dinosaurs died for your freedom.
If I were a pirate with an eye patch, I'd make my smiley face like this .)
Kanye West can't wait to be the best man at his wedding.
Q: What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat?
A: Kicked outta the petting zoo.
Fuck it, I'm chasing waterfalls.
Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?
I hope I get a warning when I have 20% life left.
I'd like to replace this speed bump with the guy that invented speed bumps.
"Has anyone seen my dad?" - Waldo's son
Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore, like an idiot.
*tapes Mom's spaghetti to shirt*
BEST EMINEM COSTUME, EVER!!!!
*laughs uncontrollably for days*